The Chronicle of Life

Perseverance.

2012-01-15T23:07:00.000+07:00

Hi. it's an hour to Monday. I am entering the fourth week of 1.3 already tmr. I know, time flies. I am feeling so guilty about myself currently. I feel like I've been wasting so much time. I seriously need to buck up or else, one of my 2012's resolutions which is bring 3 'A's home in the first semester will be a failure. I really need to force myself, no more slacking, please.

That's all. Will write again in no time!

2012

2012-01-07T11:33:00.000+07:00

Happy (belated) New Year! I know I am so freaking late as it's already the seventh day of January'12. See how rapidly time flies? So, how well 2012 has treated you so far?

Last week, which was the last day of Dec, I went to Candi Borobudur, Candi Prambanan, Candi Mendut with F, Y and T, a friend of F, who came from Medan. We rented a car for the whole day and paid a driver to take us anywhere we wished to go. We first went to Borobudur. I felt so happy you know. Since it has been my fourth months staying here, but I've never went to one of the world's heritage in Jogja before that. We made it going up to the highest level and I put my hands into the so-called stupa to reach the Buddha's hand. After that, we went to Candi Mendut. We didn't really go inside and paid tickets, actually. Mendut is quite small that we decided to just take photos from the outside. Next after staying inside the car for like 3 hours, we arrived at Prambanan. I was infatuated by the exquisite temples there. They're so beautiful.

Our trip to three Candi(s) finished at about 6 pm, then, three of them asked the driver to bring us to a firework's grocery seller. And so they bought a lot of fireworks. Initially, I wasn't thinking about joining them to play those fireworks. However, Idk what came to my mind that I decided to spend my old-and-new with them. I chose the right decision, I can say.

Before the clock strikes 00 00 AM, four of us shared whatever good and bad things that have happened within the whole 2011. We also spitted out our hopes and wishes in 2012. I cried! When 01 Jan has finally come, I called Mom and Dad and I cried even more. I realized I miss them so much. We played till about 3 AM and shortly after that, I was brought to my boarding home and thus, my beginning of 2012 was a great and memorable time.

Guess what?! I am seriously going home on 11 FEB!!!!!!!!! Can't wait. But I should do extremely well in this block if I don't want to have any make up tests during my holiday. Buddha bless me.

That's all!

One point three.

2011-12-24T21:42:00.000+07:00

Halo. How are days? I am currently having coffee latte with both F and Y. I've had my 1.2 block examination about the cardio-respiratory system. I did quite well within the whole seven weeks. All of my scores are quite satisfying, Thanks Buddha.

Yesterday, after the exam, three of us, wearing the same shirts, which were bought by F's mom, went to Ambarukmo Plaza. We 'caught' a lot of attentions, because I am definitely sure we looked awkward. F and I had our haircuts. And then, they rocked Timezone and play a lot of games hysterically. They also bought a lot of ingredients to cook foods. Tell you, they're both great cooks. This afternoon, they brought their homemade hamburger and french fries and sausages for me. It tasted zupalicious!

I'll have day off till Monday, and then a much more schedule in 1.3 is waiting for me. My senior told me that this block, about digestive system, will be so monotonous that I'm to memorize a lot of things. *sigh* But guess what, I'm planning to go home when the block's over, which's on Feb. So basically, I've something which can motivate me to study even harder.

That's all.

This is Lydia, she's quite a close friend :)

These are their shopping bags! Mine's just one of those.

Nah, this is us.

Lunch, cooked by two of them!

Pho.

2011-12-16T11:49:00.001+07:00

By the time I type this post, Pho has passed away for four days. Both Mom and Dad sent me messages and.... I was speechless. It was unbelievable. I know Pho's diseases have come to an end stage, that she's totally dependent on medicine, and that her life wouldn't left much. HOWEVER, I thought that I can still meet Pho next year, when I go home. I can still share what I've learnt, I can do some basic examinations on her, and take care of her. I can still tell her about how I wanna go home badly, yet powerless. About how I should manage myself, without Mom reminding me of this and that, the feeling of staying faraway from home.......

You know what? The last time I met Pho was three months ago, before I came here. That time, Pho's already lain on the bed everyday. But she still recognized me and told me to take care and advised me.. The very last brief conversation between us was three days before her death, which was on Friday morning. She could talk so cheerfully despite her ailments, she shouted Jia You, and asked me to eat properly..... JUST IF, I knew that would be our last conversation....... I'd say how badly I want her to get well soon and how I wish I can meet her...

Now, Pho's no longer here...

There's no way I could go home to attend her funeral, and I felt even worse... Once I go home later, I will be the grandma-less girl :(

Dear Pho, you may not be with us physically, but trust me. You will stay in everyone's heart forever. You are my best Pho ever.

We love you.

I swear, one day, I shall make you proud.

Sunday sickness

2011-12-04T15:55:00.001+07:00

Hi. It's December. Time sure flies, no? By today, I've stayed here for exactly three months. It feels like I was still so busy and overwhelmed about preparing myself to leave for Jogja a moment ago, yet now, time has brought me till here : a medical student of one of the most prestigious university in Indonesia for one fourth year.

Days are hectic, I can say. I sleep for about 4 to 5 hours each day. Most of the time I only have two meals. I go to campus early, attend lectures, labs, tutorials, and etc, and then come back to my boarding house. I know it sounds boring to just off for campus and go home right afterwards. It's not like I can do many more things, though. The only road I know best after three months staying here is the one I go through every day from boarding house to campus.

Some days ago, Mom told me that Pho was unconscious. She has been hospitalized for about two weeks. She didn't eat much. Doctors said that her medicine is the only thing that makes her breath. All of her children, including Mom, have prepared themselves for the worst. They then decided to bring her home, as if something does really happen, they think she'll prefer it to be at home. And so Pho was homed. Then two days ago, I received a call from Mom early in the morning.
"Here's Pho. You go chit chat with her, tell her to Jia You, vanie." And so, I tried to sound as zealous as possible and talked to Pho. Because frankly, hearing Pho's conditions from Mom made me feel like the 'time' will come soon. But beyond my belief, once I talked to Pho, I could hear her answering me with her old enthusiast voice. She could talk and even told me to take care here. It's such a miracle Buddha gives to our family. I feel so grateful to hear Pho conscious and fresh again. Though at last, when Mom asked her : "Do you know whom you're talking with?" Our conversation turned into a complete silence, which means Pho doesn't recognize me.

It felt like I've just been slapped.

I feel eminently sad. I feel like going home and visit Pho and tell her to stay strong directly. However, I am powerless here. All I can do is to wait for next year's July to go home in hope I can still see her. I terribly hope I can.

I feel the homesickness even worse every Sunday, like today. I cried again. I know it sounds silly. Been in here for three months yet still shed tears. Ha-ha. I dislike Sunday because I basically have nothing to do at all, means I am totally unoccupied, and that makes my mind think of home even more. Mom. Dad. Ko. Vi. Pho. Everyone. I tried to busy myself by reading books or reviewing lectures, but it's just useless. I tried to interrupt my mind by playing games, yet failed. Again, I am powerless.

Thus, I call it Sunday Sickness.

2011-11-30T18:05:00.004+07:00

BUDDHA BLESS Pho Pho :(

My everything.

2011-11-19T00:13:00.000+07:00

Just had a video call through facebook chat with Jun. I am so glad to finally saw her.
Know what? Today's Mom's birthday. I am so faraway that I can't kiss and hug her tightly, I am so sad. But then, this afternoon, I went to a post office to send a super simple letter plus one picture of us. It'll arrived four to five days later, but it's okay, that'll surprise Mom more. All I can do now is to give the best wishes for Mom.

Happy birthday, Mom.

Vanie love Mom.

我非常想念妈咪。

17th on 17.

2011-11-17T18:41:00.002+07:00

Hi. So, I'm turning 17 today. This is the first birthday I spent without families around. It feels empty, of course. But on the other hand, I'm so grateful to be here, Jogjakarta.

Imagine, if I didn't come here, I will have those warm hugs and kisses from Mom, Dad, Vi, and Ko. They'll probably buy me cake and wake me up from my dream early in the morning and sing a happy birthday song. We'll eat cakes and will take photos together. We'll eat the cakes while watching morning news in the living room. That'll be a great beginning of my seventeenth, a great family quality time.

Imagine, if I didn't come here, I will then hang out with my best friend, Imelda. We will eat giant portions of foods and will go window-shopping together. I'll (or she will) drive to everywhere I wish to go and she's always there to accompany me for the whole day. She will give me her best hug, too.

Imagine, if I didn't come here, I will maybe have a date with him. Since the reason of us ending was me going faraway, it means that if I am not here, we (probably) are still together.

Imagine, if I didn't come here, Mom will throw a birthday party for me at a nice restaurant, inviting my close friends and families. Hence, my day will be perfect.

However, the fact is that I am now here, miles away from home, things are pretty much going differently. What happened today was ..

Instead of getting kisses and hugs from Dad and Mom, I received happy birthday messages from both of them consisting great wishes, supports, and a 'I love you'.

Instead of being bullied by Ko and Vi, I had wishes and a kiss smiley from them sent through BBM.

Instead of hanging out with Imelda, eating gargantuan lunch, I received a super touching message right after

the time show 00 : 00 AM. I cried when reading her text, fyi.

Instead of dating with him, I received a very simple and short BBM and a smile emoticon.

Instead of having party with my close friends, I got a bunch of greetings and wishes sent through twitter and facebook.

All of them sound pathetic, don’t they? But I am not done. Below, I'll state reasons why I can say that until today, my days are such a blessing for me.

IF, I am not here, I won't get friends who come from many cities in Indonesia. I won't meet Y and be close friends with him and F. I won't meet super kind Buddhist seniors, whether those who come from Medan or other cities. I won't meet Ko B or Ci L, who are my favorites. I won't have the chance to see cadavers so early and to hit highest score in the first anatomy exam. I won't understand the feeling of living so faraway from home, about how to manage my time and money, about waking up and find no one around you, about having no one to share directly with when problems emerge... And most importantly, I won't understand this much about how huge Mom's affection is. I am so grateful.

Imelda was the first person sending me a happy birthday message, followed by Dad and then bunches of greetings were sent to me through BBM and twitter. Mom messaged me right after she woke up and so Ko and Vi. While in the campus, everything went normally : physiology lab session, lectures, tutorials, except that there were some friends who shook my hand and gave super wishes to me. At the end of today's schedule, my tutorial mates were like inhibiting me from going home as they planned to throw me into the pool in campus' garden. However, I kept on telling them that it wouldn't be nice to bike with wet shirts. And so they gave up in the first place, pretending to go home and left me alone. Surprisingly, when I thought all of them have gone and so calmly went out from the library, they appeared out of nowhere and shampooed me!! I shouted and tried to avoid them. It useless, though. I was being surrounded by them. My hair was foamy and sticky at the same time. After that, they just ran away... The so-embarrassing part is I have to walk alone with my sticky hair to the bike parking-lot which is like from north-to-west from the library. But overall, I'm so happy. I've never experienced such thing and it just feels so great.

After I'm homed, I immediately texted mom and told her what my friends did. Mom called and shouted happy birthday. And then I just shared whatever happened today. Mom asked whether F and Y have done something to me, too. I disappointedly answered that they haven’t even said happy birthday to me. Mom said that maybe they have made a surprise for me, which’s true.

An hour after Mom’s call ended, Y asked me whether I wanted to have dinner with them. I agreed, since they have been so weird for the whole day. I wanted to asked them if there’s something wrong. Y told me that they’re coming to fetch me. When they arrived, I only saw Y. After I’ve opened the front gate, Y said hello and F suddenly came from Y’s back with a cake. They sang happy birthday song and I cried ! I was so surprised. OMG. I can’t explain it with words. It feels so wow to have people celebrating your birthday when you're so faraway from home. They are just the best boy friends I’ve ever met and I’m so lucky to have them. I hugged both of them and said thank you afterwards. They’re like my brothers.

Thus, I can conclude that my seventeenth birthday is eminently great.

Thanks Buddha. Thanks Mom and Dad, thanks everyone around me. I can’t tell how important you guys are to me.

Love,

the seventeen y'o girl.

Lightning.

2011-11-02T17:06:00.005+07:00

The title of this post is random since it's raining so heavily outside. I used to complain about the hot weather in Jogja that there wasn't even a raindrop since my first visit here. But lately, the weather is cool or if not, drizzling in the evening. I don't know if I should be happy because raining, just like hot weather, troubles me when I'm about to off from campus. One, it won't be convenient for me to use umbrella or to wear raincoat while cycling (though I have never tried). Two, cycling under the blazing sun burns my skin. The fact that I'm getting tanner is somewhat stressing me out you know :( Cycling sounds so pathetic, no? Up until now, there are still people who tend to say like : "Just if you stay at your hometown, you would have driven a car." However, trust me, I have never complained about cycling, it is always the weather that I'm complaining about. Cycling is a part of my everyday activities now. I bike to campus, food courts, mini markets, and etc. My bicycle is my 'feet'. Beside eases me whenever I'm going anywhere, cycling will also give good effects to my health, won't it? So, I can conclude that using biking is not as bad as what people think.

Well, Mom and Vi have left some days ago. I cried, so did Mom. But unlike the first time, I didn't feel very mournful no more. It's probably because I am used to leaving alone now. I wake up at 5 AM every morning despite the fact that my class starts at 10. I go to campus at 6+ AM after showering and sometimes after cooking my own breakfast (most are instant noodles) . Right, you may say I'm so crazy to go that early. Fact is, I like it better spending my time at campus since it has wireless connection everywhere. My telkom flash hasn't been working for weeks now. It's so annoying! Ok, back to the topic. My schedules are not similar each day. I can have only a one-hour-lecture/day or lab in the morning followed by lectures and tutorials till evening. No matter how packed or spare my schedules are, I always spend my free hours in campus, especially the library. Don't misunderstand, I am not the geeky/nerdy you're imagining. I just think it's more beneficial for me to be here all day long. First, I can have free internet connection. Second, I can read whatever books I want. Last, comparing to my room, it's much cooler here.

Today is the third day of week 7. The seventh week here means examination period. I've had my MCQ test this morning. It's a wreck, seriously. Although my friends have told me that I've done good enough, it's still not sufficient for me. I feel like I'm not hardworking enough. I vow I will do better this Friday. Later, our presentation skill will be tested. I'm preparing my power point while typing this. There will be oral examination too. I am to score BETTERRRRRRRRRR. Wish me luck !

Anyway, it's beyond my expectation that I can get the highest mark in the first anatomy examination among 309 students. I'm so grateful.

First Day @ Ambarukmo Plaza

See the house at the very right side of the picture? It's my boarding house.

Last Day. Dinner at Hoka-hoka Bento.

A post.

Apple of my eye.

2011-10-29T21:06:00.002+07:00

Hola! Have I told you that Mom and Vi came two days ago? They went straight to my campus after they've arrived. Meeting them was so exhilarating, seriously. After two months not seeing Vi and approximately one month for Mom, I started to shed tears. I miss them so freaking much.

We went to the the most well-known plaza in Jogjakarta twice, to Malioboro, and tried many of Jogjakarta's foods. Not that Mom has never eaten those, but it's Vi who wants to taste everything here. She is such a heavy eater! But the big question is that, why on earth can't she be fatter? Whatever the reason is, I am so glad when I saw her having a very great appetite.

However, they are going home again tomorrow. I don't know if I will cry again. Why does time tick so fast? T___T

Reminisces.

2011-10-15T10:38:00.000+07:00

Dear Jun,

Do you still remember when was the first time we became good friends? Summoning all the memories I got, I can say that I have never really thought of making friends with you in the first place. You do probably know that I hated you for some reasons before, and I guess so did you. Until one day, if I am not mistaken, You and I sat next to each other in chemistry lab and started to talk. We talked random stuffs, from like biology to foods or from physics to shoes..... After quite a moment, I realized that it just felt great to talk things with you. You and I got the same point of view and way of thinking. Since then, every time I was going elsewhere, I always asks you to accompany me.

So as time went by, you started to share your problems and thoughts with me. I couldn't do much ,but listening. You are that kind of girl who are super good in telling stories, your mood always flows with them and you are terribly great in explaining something exactly as what's happening. By that, I then knew a lot about you : your ex~~(bad)~~boyfriend, your habits, families, and etc. Been sharing these and those for months, we found out that we have a lot in common, especially this one : we both love to try new ~~things~~ foods. Thence, we hung out and ate at a lot of restaurants, stalls, and many more.

You taught me to eat this : Black pepper beef Kwetiau, remember?

My first baking experience was with you, too. We baked cupcakes at your home and they were quite delicious. Remember how we were so confused about the icing sugar thingies? Yet we ended up using melted chocolate for the cream on the cupcakes.

Those all things happened in 2010. While in 2011, we're getting more closer. We hung out even more in the last three/four months of high school. We went to saloon together to have our haircuts and styles. I slept over for the first time at your home the night after PromNite.. This one ends my story within high school moments.

High school ends, but not our friendship. It was around May when we're all busy preparing ourselves for the so called SNMPTN. We went to different courses, so we basically had different schedules which made us couldn't hang out much. But we still managed to go to wherever to buy something small and ate junk foods. After some lalala, the examination day arrived and we were then waiting for the announcement one month later.

Within that one month, we're really aimless, true? We still didn't know to which university we'll go and very much hoping that we're being accepted at the uni we wanted. We could sometimes stressed out out of the blue and ended up eating so many foods to overcome the stress. We were the two heavy eaters. And often after eating, we could freak out about our weight and that caused us to go swimming and be members at Dharma Deli. Spending almost every day together, we're getting even closer. You're my best girl friend since then.

The announcement day then came. We're both glad that we're entering our first choice university. However, that meant we're to separate in months that time. I wasn't really care about leaving to UGM earlier because I still thought that I have so much time left. Fact is, time flies. I got some weeks left. We still hung out a lot and ate whatever foods we thought I won't be eating in Jogja : yogurts, Black pepper beef kwetiau, pancakes, potato wedges, meals at Lekker, and etc.... We slept over at my cousin's house and went swimming together. Going to Brastagi with Caroline and Ida and went pedicure for the last time. Met up with a friend who is going to UGM and had lunch with him. Had the very last lunch with Vi and two quite close friends.. I kept on telling you to stay in touch with me and to not forgetting me once I left.

And we are kilometers away.

Now, I miss us hanging out together.

Hugs,

stevaniewu

You can tell.

2011-10-01T21:43:00.004+07:00

It's October! Time really flies, true? It feels like I've just put my first step on Jogjakarta's airport, but counting seventy hours from today, I will have stayed in my hostel for a month ! Mom has left for approximately three weeks. However, I can sometimes shed tears whenever I think of my days before I 'moved' here. I miss Mom's laughter, Dad's guffaws, Ko's quirkiness, and Vi's stubbornness. I miss home.

Anyway, don't misunderstand. Me missing home doesn't mean my days here are pathetic. They are not at all! I'm having a very good life in here. Although I don't have any scrumptious foods for my meals, no expensive snacks, and I should go everywhere by cycling, I do enjoy it so much. I have great friends surrounding me, let's say F and Y. They have never absent in accompanying me whenever I am going somewhere besides campus. They bought foods for me when I can't make it buying myself. Buddhist seniors here are also super benevolent. One of them who goes to faculty of medicine too, even borrowed me his hard disk driver which got all the first year material inside it. I feel so lucky, seriously. Buddha does bless me so much that He provides me with all these good things around.

Been in here for a month has given me a lot of experiences. I've felt down from my bicycle for some times and managed to get up by myself. Of course I did cried and couldn't stop hoping that I was with Mom back then... Now look at me, I can prove to myself and to those who underestimated me, that I am able to stand until today. I've promised myself this : Unless it's Dad and Mom's wishes, I will never surrender to whatever bad things.

So about my schedule, they're getting more hectic now. We will start our third week by this Monday. I've entered the Anatomy's lab which isn't that creepy like one everyone always think of. I've seen real bones and have tried to learn about the surface markings. I'm still struggling to understand more of them. There are so many things to memorize. Whew! Wish me luck, will you?

That's all. Happy October! Note that rainbows will finally come out at the end of a rainy day. Cheers.

Left to Right : Felix, Lydia, Me, and Yunardi

Until then.

2011-09-12T06:24:00.002+07:00

Hi. I'm currently waiting for 7 AM to go out from my hostel and to go to the UGM's Grha Sabha Pramana. There, my university's life will officially begin. Lecturers said that we won't really start our first block in Term I, which is Being a medical student and Locomotor system. It will be more about social culture orientation. They said that we will be told about cycling regulations, how to take Trans Jogja, and etc. I am super excited!

So, it's been more than a week since I came here. Mom's left yesterday morning which means I'm now all alone. We cried a lot yesterday and the night before. Mom kept saying that I have to Jia You and take care of myself. She said that she's actually not ready to leave me faraway from her side, but since it's been my biggest desire to come here, she'll never stop supporting me. She also wrote some post-its and put them on the wall in front of my desk. I vow that I'll try my best to not disappoint Mom and Dad. Thinking of their sacrifices and supports is now my newest personal motivation.

My orientation went well back then. Seniors didn't do any physical torments to us, they only mocked and pretend to be super offensive. Other seniors helped us in doing both team and individual tasks. Within the orientation, we had a lot of talk shows which got great and inspirational people as the guests. They shared their experiences and motivated us. I felt so great after listening to them ( and also kind of sleepy and bored in the end). Oh yes, some of my friends told me that medicine's students will have a very minim sleeping time like only 3-4 hours/day, I'm quite afraid. But that's the consequence I have to go through to have my succeed, isn't it? Wish me luck !

By the way, my relationship has ended since the beginning of September. We had our last date before and broke up inoffensively. Up until now, we scarcely contact or even say Hi to each other. Maybe we're both busy. But that's okay. I know if we're meant to be, we will meet again even after years.

A whole new world is waiting, it's mine for the taking.

I know I can make it. Today my life begins.

The missing pieces.

2011-08-29T17:39:00.005+07:00

It's a typical Monday in which I do nothing more special than days before. By this time next week, Mom and I will probably have found a new bicycle, which I will ride for my daily transportation at Jogja. The bitter fact that my departing day is getting closer makes me feel all jittery. Ready-ready-not, I am to prepare myself within Five days. I guess this will be my very last post before moving to Jogjakarta, a totally new environment (and moving on and starting a new phase of life).

I am going to miss everything, from my bedroom's smells to homemade foods. And although Mom's staying with me for six days later, she's the one I will miss the most. She and Dad have always been loving me steadily and completely, who have never once let me down, and who have been taking good care of me even if it cost them everything, dry my tears, ease my pains...... God, I will be apart from them in no time :( I know it sounds like I'm not coming back, but truth is I'm not coming home before September next year.

I will miss Ko and Vi, too. Ko's stupid actions, his quirky jokes, his benevolence in taking and fetching me to here and there, his huge assistance whenever I need helps, and his guffaws... While Vi.. Believe it or not, I guess I'm gonna miss the time when we are fighting and arguing about small problems and not talking for days because of that most. Ha-Ha. I will miss helping her in examinations, cooking spaghetti together, baking brownies, and e t c..

Next, I will miss Imelda so much. We've spent almost everyday together since graduation. We went swimming and jogging. We failed in baking macaroons which turned out to be cookies. We had so many gargantuan meals.. I will miss eating whatever I'm craving for with her.. Gossiping, sharing lingering thoughts.. Miss the only girl friend who will come instantly whenever I ask her to go anywhere..

And last, I don't know if it's still appropriate for me to type this, but I will miss him. Miss the time when we had our breakfast at McD after swimming together, went to markets (yes, traditional markets), rode on public transportation, and watched movies. I'll miss insulting him and us sharing frozen yogurt. Miss him patting my head and me punching his arm in return.

I will miss home.

A farewell post.

8 in Seventh.

2011-08-26T16:51:00.003+07:00

I don't know whether it is just me or time does really fly. It was still three weeks to my departure when I typed my latest post, yet now I am able to count my days left by fingers ! I can hardly believe that I am leaving so very soon. No, I am n o t ready. I've had 3 suitcases packed so far, they weigh approximately 42 kilograms, still excluding my jeans and daily T-shirts. I'm thinking of repacking all those 3 suitcases since I can't believe that my needs do really weigh that much. Is it actually normal, anyway?

Last night was such an exhilarating day. I had the first quality time with my family after months. We were so complete. I mean there were Dad, Mom, and three of us. Dad wasn't trying to find any excuses when I asked him to go out for a dinner. I found it to be quite surprising in the first place, since usually, Dad would have spitted out whatever reasons to avoid family times as he and Mom are in quite a row. Idk whether it's because of me leaving in no time that makes Dad agreed, but I hope Dad will stay the same once I've left.

So, today is the seventh month of our relationship, which MAY be the last month for us. D and I have finally discussed about long distance relationship and we agreed that it isn't possible to go through such thing. D is planning to go to Singapore and a Singapore-Jogjakarta relationship will be.... you know.. not okay. He also told me that medical major will make me immensely busy that I am not likely to have time to do whatever-stuff-normal-couple-should-do. Although we haven't really split up by this time, I assume that I've known what this discussion leads us to. Frankly speaking, I still can't accept the fact that we are to end this way. Period. End of story.

Who says that distance is not a problem when someone means so much to you? It is the #1 problem in ~~our~~ his case.

21

2011-08-13T21:12:00.003+07:00

It's 21 days to my departing day. I can't stop counting down although most of my friends have told me not to. They said that the more I'm aware of the time left, the more difficult it is for me to savor every moments, which is true. So lately, I've tried pretty hard to enjoy my days despite the fact that they're getting more boring over days. What's the point of waking up in the morning and redoing all the same things everyday? You guess.

The day before yesterday, which is Thursday, I went to Brastagi with Imelda, Caroline, and Ida. We were so excited about rocking every single games inside Mickie's funland initially, that we wouldn't need much time to queue to play a game, we could shout out loud without minding what others'd think of, and etc, but SO unfortunately, the Funland is just available on Sat and Sun. Feeling crestfallen, we decided to walk around the hotel and took some photos. Sounds so desperate, isn't it? But never mind though, we did have fun too. We went to the fruit market and had our lunch before going back to Medan. Since then, I haven't been hanging out. I know. Pathetic.

Anyway, most of my friends are going to have their first monthly exam from Monday onwards. I wish you all a very good luck!! I hope the exam's week could end faster so that I can meet D. I haven't seen him since the last two Tuesdays and it's kinda depressing :(

Some random pictures :

"Time flies for those who scare"

2011-08-08T10:17:00.004+07:00

August is finally here. It means that I am gonna leave in less than thirty days. By this time next month, I will have been in UGM attending the so-called orientation for more than an hour and it will be my fifth day in Jogjakarta. And perhaps I'll have coped with the situation there, the very scorching weather in the noon, the fresh air in the evening, the spicy and inexpensive foods, the very friendly societies............. They don't sound so bad, do they? I will indubitably feel sorrowful and homesick once Mom leave me all alone there. I will probably cry to sleep every night. My stomach may not stand eating the foods. I may dehydrate myself for not drinking much water as Mom always asks me to. I may feel cranky if D doesn't call me and Imelda doesn't tell me what's going on in hometown. I may blame myself for being so foolish to choose a so-faraway-university.. But they are just normal in early days, no? I believe I can adapt after, let's say, two weeks.. I wonder, did some of my friends who have left to others' countries felt the same when they arrived?

Up until now, I haven't packed pretty much. Shirts and trousers, which I think are the most necessary needs have been put in a suitcase. This suitcase weigh 13 kilograms, excluding my heels, shoes, slippers, jeans, T-shirts, dress, lunchboxes, and etc. Can you guess how heavy my luggage be in total? I refuse to guess anyway. You know what, I have been a very good procrastinator in packing my stuffs. Mom can't stop urging me to pack from the least important things, but I'm way too disconcerted about where to start. And actually, there reason why I haven't started yet is that I know mom will end up unpacking everything to check if we miss anything. So, it's better to just wait for Mom to do it together, isn't it? tee-hee.

So........ last night, D spitted out something which was really disheartening. I know he didn't mean anything by saying it. However, those words are like hunting me now. It's like he doesn't believe in us as much as he used to. I believe that by this time, no one can expect us to long last since I'm leaving kilometers away from hometown. To be honest, I, myself, is quite influenced by some buzzing word-of-mouth which got the same point : The possibility for a long-distance-relationship-couple to survive is only 1/10. But still, I can't not feeling downcast just by imagining D and I are gonna split up just because of this distance matter. I can't help feeling grievous every time I think about what we're gonna be some months ahead. Being in a relationship for half a year may be a short time, but note that feelings can't stop growing over days.. So to You, yes you, just in case you find out that there's no more point for us to be together, I hope you wanna look back to days when you're the one who put much faith in us.

Harry Potter

2011-07-31T21:00:00.001+07:00

and the Deathly Hallows Part II is just as outstanding as its movies before. J.K.Rowling and David Yates sure is unequivocally the most immaculate collaboration ever. Up until now, I actually still refuse to believe that Harry Potter's adventure has come to an end. It has always been my favorite movie. Whether I can find a better fiction movie in the future, no one knows.

P. S : Will thirty three days be enough for us? I'm afraid not :(

formspring.me

2011-07-29T20:50:00.002+07:00

Perhaps you wanna know. http://formspring.me/stevaniewu

Such a blue funk.

2011-07-26T17:44:00.002+07:00

Today wasn't a pleasant day. D and I were supposed to meet up at 3 pm, but then I was stuck with baking stuffs at Imelda’s home. We planned to bake French cookies, which eventually turned out to be Chocolate Almond (wrecked) cookies. It was a TOTAL failure, I can say. I am so disappointed !! Personally speaking, it was me who suggested to bake macaroons as it seems so easy in YouTube videos. You just need to sift some icing sugar and coco powder and then mix them with white eggs plus almond powder and tadaa -- there you are, macaroons are ready to be served. However, after today’s experience, I guess I will never try to bake it anymore. We spent quite a bunch of money to buy the ingredients and what we got were those Almond-smelled cookies. I dislike Almond powder’s smell so much. I’m wondering, did we actually buy the true ingredients? I mean, I’ve never smelled Almond powder before, but the one that we bought smells like a Chinese medicine. Fine, at least I’ve had an experience.

Meanwhile, I guess D is quite upset because I cancelled our meeting out of the blue. I know I was such a dull. Like, come on, it’s our half-year anniversary and we didn’t meet at all?! Blimey. I thought I would have baked some cookies for D as a little gift, yet things just weren’t going as it supposed to be :( So now, I’m feeling eaten up with guilt - -

Will everything be alright?

2011-07-22T17:28:00.004+07:00

Halo. Mom and I have just came back again from Jogjakarta yesterday. We went there for three days to finish the registration thingies. Right, I posted about leaving to Jogja for re-registering the other day, but that time, we haven't really done the payment since it was too high a price (Not paying means not able to register) . Most of Mom's relatives were shocked after hearing the amount of money we should pay to enter a state university. Mom's dad asked us to just go there and try to ask for a facilitation in hope it'll be granted, and so that's what we did earlier. UGM's staffs told us to just wait for a letter which would tell us whether our petition is being bestowed or not. The letter came approximately a week after we're homed, telling us that the payment could be divided into three installments. Mom was quite disappointed back then, she was hoping that they'd give us ease by deflating the price, but what else can we do? Asking for another facilitation? If we do so, it means we should leave to Jogja back and forth and the flight tickets themselves cost an arm and a leg ! And no one guarantees that the second request will be imparted again. So, we decided to just pay the first installment since it's affordable, and left for Jogjakarta right away one day afterwards.

Within the three days, not only have we finished the registration, but we've also done so many things to my boarding room. Mom and I worked together to clean the blobs of dusts inside it, from the ceiling to the pits. We swept, mopped and brushed the floor. We also moved a cupboard and a desk! Can you imagine how powerful Mommy is? Guess without her huge assistance, I will be staying inside a sordid room later. Everything was solemnly dissimilar after our two-hour-clearance. I'll show you the before-and-after pictures on the end of this post.

Despite the fact that Mom has done so many things for me, I can still feel a flesh stab of hesitation. Up until this moment, I can imagine nothing about staying all alone in a room. Basically, I won't be really alone inside the boarding house since I'll have some friends who stay beside my room. However, everyone is telling me that it'll be like : "You do yours, I do mine. Your problems aren't mine to care and vice versa." Things are not the same if I'm staying in Medan. Whenever I got myself into troubles, Daddy and Mommy will be there for me. In case I am perturbed about something, I can easily discuss it with Imelda. I won't be kilometers away from D and we will able to meet every Sunday. But in less than seven weeks, I'll be kilometers apart from all of the good things I have here.. I can't just bury my head in the sand and pretend that this fact isn't bothering me.. Am I actually taking the right decision? God knows.

Show you my boarding room's pictures.

I will stay in the fifth out of six rooms inside the house.

Look at where the cupboard and the desk initially was.

The bathroom

After the cleaning. It looks much better, doesn't it?

Been explained.

2011-07-18T08:52:00.002+07:00

I'd like to share a story, which I found the other day --

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"

Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. It's quite inspiring a story, no?

Maybe

2011-07-12T20:45:00.005+07:00

mundane is a suitable word to describe my days lately. It's like I'm repeating the same irksome activities - wake up, shower, eat, nap, shower, eat, sleep, and wake up again. Unlike my siblings, I don't go to school no more. I used to wish to graduate faster so that I can liberate myself from the fussy and stressing schedules, now, I eminently hope to get those hassling days back. I need to at least find something intriguing to do so I can distract myself from my cravings. I play baking life every day in hope it'll drag me out of my boredom. However, playing this game is not helping at all. It evokes my appetite and makes me crave even more T_T

About university things.... Frankly speaking, I still can't imagine how life will be two months later. I will be kilometers apart from my family and best friends. Everything won't be the same... It is not mom's face that I'll see once I wake up, but a vacant room. No more scrumptious foods on the dining table waiting to be eaten. I have to wash my own laundries and prepare everything on my own. It's not about us anymore, but me, myself, and I. Sounds so lonesome, isn't it? :(

Kay well. I should not feel melancholy. I should savor my days, no matter how dull they are. End of story.

Jogjakarta.

2011-07-09T09:52:00.001+07:00

Haven't posted anything since I came back from Jogjakarta, have I? Tell you, I found out that Jogjakarta, which is well known as an education country, is so enthralling. It isn't about its beauty that attracts me, but it's peoples there. They are so friendly and kind. There's once when Mom and I felt doubtful about something. We kept asking the same question all over again to a man. Guess what, if we did so to peoples here, they'll feel annoyed, true? But not with this man. He explained everything clearly from head-to-toe without feeling uneasy... This kind of people can be easily found in any angles of Jogjakarta. And beside the people's generosity, I'm also in love with the foods !! They are scrumptious and inexpensive.. Mom and I had a surprisingly cheap lunch on Wednesday - thirteen thousands. With the same cost, I bet I can only have one portion of nasi padang here.

Everyone told me that the living cost there isn't so high and peoples there are benevolent. As I've finally proved it myself, I can conclude that I can make it living there, apart from Dad and Mom, for years. But still, I need everyone's prayer and blessings from Buddha.

Mom and I

Our first two nights hotel.

My boarding-house-to-be.

A new friend along with Mom and I.

Last picture taken on the plane, look at my eyes' bags !

The best one.

2011-06-30T22:34:00.003+07:00

Right now, I am so overwhelmed with ecstasy. My life isn't dangling no more. I have finally found my future path, and to the medicine faculty of UGM I'm going. Lately, Mom and I are so busy about the re-registration thingies. We're leaving to Jogjakarta this Sunday. The re-registration itself is on July 6. However, I'm asked to take a TOEFL-like test on fifth July. It is one of the requirements to be a UGM's student. I have no idea about how the TOEFL will be like as I have never taken any english proficiency test before. My senior told me that I need not to feel worry about it and he guaranteed that I can do the test easily. Relieving, isn't it? We're going to look for a decent boarding room for me to stay, too. I terribly hope that I can finish these preparations in a short while. Wish me luck, will you?

A post.

The fifth.

2011-06-26T22:16:00.004+07:00

Breeks Cafe's beef sauce pasta

Unlike months before, we didn't spend our fifth monthsary alone, but there were four of us - Billy, Fanny, D, and I. We had our exquisite lunch at Breeks Cafe. Then, D and I decided to watch Insidious as both of us were challenging each other's braveness to watch a horror movie. The movie scared the hell out of me. It's not like the ghosts in it look really spooky, but it tends to startle audiences with the sudden presence of the ghosts. Watch it with at lease a friend, I suggest. D and I also wore the same tees, which he bought from Giordano some days ago. Finally, I can say that today was enervating yet remarkable..

"If I am stupid now, who cares I'm gonna be stupid for my whole life?", Remember this?

Ante Meridiem.

2011-06-25T09:38:00.002+07:00

Dharma Deli's swimming pool was so impure that Imelda and I didn't swim this morning. Instead of going home after knowing the pool's condition, we went straight to McD to have our breakfast. We ordered a normal portion for each of us initially, but we ended up having a huge breakfast - rice, chickens, french fries, coke, black coffee, tea, and ice cream. Such a gargantuan meal for normal girls, isn't it? But that's what we are : Heavy Eater. Told you we have a lot in common in one of my ten facts, didn't I? That's one of them. Hahahaha.

Well, this is a very random post since I've got no ideas about what to do for the rest of today. I've spent most of this month by slacking off. I applied for some jobs and I was accepted. But then ALL of them required me to sign a one-year-contract. I'm afraid that I can't complete the contract since I'm going to take medical major later on. So I simply turn them down, which means, I am so freaking quiescent at the moment -_______- Em, it's three or four days to the announcement of SNMPTN. I'm so nervous. Am I gonna be accepted in any of my choices? Buddha bless me !!!!

Do you know that Imelda has created her own blog now? Click here ! And anyway, I miss high school.

Still remember whose fingers are these?

Ten

2011-06-20T18:42:00.004+07:00

facts about me are :
1. I don't wear girly stuffs like bracelets, necklaces, earrings and etc. I know it doesn't sound normal as most teenage girls do wear at least one of them, but to me, they are annoying. The bitter fact here is that sooner or later, I have to use them.
2. I barely have mirror with me. I only take it if I don't forget to put it into my bag.
3. I may be the shortest in my family some months later. My younger sister, who is three years younger than me, is only 2 cm shorter than me now. This freaks me out. I've been trying some exercises which could heighten me - skipping, jumping, and swimming, but they didn't seem to help much :(
4. I have only gone for a trip with friends for once. I mean, the-out-from-house-for-days trip.
5. I am both a heavy sleeper and eater. I can still oversleep although I have had my nap in the afternoon. I eat almost everything, but tomatoes.
6. I don't believe in compliment. I think it is just a soft way to cheer someone up when they are at their worst. I don't feel any good when someone compliments me. Some of my way to translate compliments are like these : "You look skinnier !!" means "Bloody hell this girl is getting wider and wider", "You are pretty in this dress" means "My god, this girl's look is sickening.", etc.
7. Life is quite unfair to me when it comes to fats matters. It's like I eat a few and gain weight right away, while my friends eat like tigers but they don't bloody fat after that. Skinny girls who say this : "My god, I am so fat. I have to go on a diet soon" in front of girls who are fatter than them are rascals !! Boo.
8. I have a best friend who happens to look alike with me (that's what some people we met said). I used to hate her because she's so garrulous. I teased her and said bad things behind her, but who can predict what's coming next? Now, she's my closest girlfriend. We have a lot in common ;)
9. Am head over heels in love with a boy. I recognized him from a friend last year. Fall for him since December and agreed to be his girlfriend on January 2011. Never had I thought of having him as someone special in my life, but he is. Hopefully, he is my last one and so am I. tee-hee.
10. Presently, I am timorously waiting for the SNMPTN announcement, which will determine my future career.

That's it. The reason of this post is because I am tagged by Sherly Nee and Adriana Salim, thanks for tagging ! So the rules of this tagged-and-do-tag-thing are

-each tagged person must tell 10 facts about himself/herself

-you got to choose and tag 10 people

-go to their blog and tell them that you've tagged them

-don't tag back

-enjoy!

I'd like to tag: Brenda Zhuo, Desilia Nilam, Herdiyenti, Jeannifer Jillian, Nathali Christy, Rita Juliana Surastio, Vanilla Journal, Winnie Illona, Winny Teh, and Winnie Tamara :)

--

So, my Sunday was such a blast ! I swam in the morning and went to Sun Plaza in the afternoon. Met D and we bought movie tickets. We watched Beastly. Believe it or not, it was our first romance movie. And then, we had sushi for lunch as D's been craving for it since weeks ago, I guess? Well, let these pictures tell more.

My closest girlfriend and Me ;)

Me and The Boy.

Bought a new cloth for Danie yesterday.

One of our dishes.

Call it a post.

Personality tests.

2011-06-18T19:06:00.001+07:00

Bonne nuit. I'm trapped in a boredom, in which I couldn't do much, but sleeping. I decided to go googling and to search some personality (and love) tests. Here are some of my results :

What type of personality do you have?
- Here is the analysis:
Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

How do you react to compliments?
- Here is the analysis:
If you try to change the subject when you are being complimented or you simply ignore it, this means that you don't like to pretend and you cherish authenticity. You feel that saying nice things to someone is merely an attempt to please the listener. You don't believe there is truth in compliments, and think that the complimenter must want something in return. You have good self-esteem and aren't afraid of criticizing, or being criticized.

Love Tests

- Here is the analysis:

When it comes to love, you take your time and do not fall in love easily.
You give 75% to your relationship and expect to receive 25% in return.
If there is a problem in your relationship, you are able to confront it in an optimistic way and full of hope. You want to work it out right away, all by yourself.
You need lots of reassurance in your relationship. You'd like to see your loved one every day, if possible.
You accept your loved one the way they are. You don't expect him or her to change for you.
When you love someone, you tend to stay in love for a long time.

That's all. I know I've been filling up this blog with boring personality quizes. I guess it's what I can really do to keep this blog up to date since my days aren't really exhilarating. Oh anyway, have I told you that I have a new routine now? I swim every morning with Imelda, D, and Felix. We go to the same place to swim. It's nice to have such routine in the midst of my boredom. Em, have a nice weekend, people !!

Today was

2011-06-13T22:41:00.001+07:00

so unrehearsed but turned out to be a gratifying day. I watched Babies with D. The movie was awful, I can say. But then, it was not a problem since I really had a Zupper good time ;)

When your seven deadly sins are revealed.

2011-06-11T13:49:00.008+07:00

Holiday is getting more boring over days. I don't have many significant things to do. However, if cleaning wardrobes/ cupboards/ desks, watching dvds, and re-read old novels are being counted as consequential works, guess I'm not that unoccupied. So, I found a quiz which is quite appealing. It doesn't define your good personalities like most quizes do, yet it define your seven deadly sins : greed, gluttony, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, and pride. Why don't you just give it a try? ;) Click here.

Here's my result.

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Low
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	High

Anyway, I'm kinda sick with this cousin of mine, who insists on making me her so-called Event Organizer. I wasn't mind to help in the first place, but when it turns to an everyday-thing-to-do, who doesn't? Plus, every time we're going somewhere to ask about the venue, she'll find any ways to meet her boyfriend. And while they're giggling and chatting around, Vivi and I can just watch and remain in silence. GEE. Luckily, this morning, I've successfully rejected her, so here I am, googling around. Called it a post ----

Sublime.

2011-06-05T21:59:00.008+07:00

Hello again. I've came home yesterday evening, but I was too exhausted to do anything. I slept at 7 pm and woke up at 10 this morning. Then stayed on the bed until I finally fell asleep again till 2. Such a pig, huh? My whole body is in agony right now, bruises are everywhere to be found on my hands. I have no idea where do they come from as I don't remember I bumped something tough. Well, back to the main topic. So, the three-day-two-night trip has ended. Time ticks rapidly !! It feels like I was still confounded about things to be brought and I was so impatient about my first out-of-Medan-vacation-with-friends. Now, I can sum up the trip in a word : Sublime.

It was Thursday morning. We gathered at Eka's house as the bus we chartered waited there. Eighteen of us arrived and we set out at approximately 8 : 30 AM. We stopped by GreenHill to find some foods to eat as there were some of us who haven't had our breakfast. Then, we went to Taman Lumbini, which is known for its prodigious design. I kindled a candle and said some prayers there. After that, we stopped at a nearby strawberry's garden. They picked about 250 pounds of strawberries and then we're off to our villa. After some hours, we went back to the city to have our dinner and then back again to the villa to have our barbecue things prepared.

The next morning, we went to Vihara Dharmasanti. Everyone prayed. Each of us hit the bell once, too. Taking some photos, and then we're off to our main destination : Mikie Holiday. We did have fun there, but too bad it was raining heavily. I remembered playing Tyrex twice, which D's not brave enough to give a shot :p Well, overall, the second day was the most tiring yet boisterous day of all.

Last day. We went to the market to buy some fruits. Some of them bought souvenirs. They rode on horses, too. Then, we had our lunch at Bahagia 'A' before going back to Medan. And that's the end of our journey. Olala.

I'm pretty sure that I must have missed some details of the trip, but well, that's the summary. I don't have any pictures with me, they're all in Eka's camera :/ So last but not least, I had a very good time with D and friends. Thanks for inviting me. I hope I can have another trip with you guys ;;)

June !

2011-06-01T19:53:00.002+07:00

Hello June. So, this morning I had that so-called SNMPTN. It was the second day. I did quite okay in the tests, may Buddha bless me that I can be accepted in one of my choices, which are UGM and USU. I'll just wait for the end of June for the announcement. 29 days to go -____- Mm, I have no idea about what to do within this month since there'll be no daily tuitions. Guess it will be another boring holiday. But anyway, I'm going to Brastagi with D and friends tomorrow. It's a three-day-two-night-trip. Will definitely post about the trip when I'm homed.

A hundred and twenty.

2011-05-26T08:58:00.007+07:00

Dear D, I don't have much to say but one : I love you.

"Just like Juliet, Belonged to Romeo, You can stay prepared that I am not letting you go."

In The Heat Of The Moment.

2011-05-22T16:29:00.001+07:00

Kay, so I'm back with another post, which is specially dedicated to JEANNIFER JILLIAN

Dear cici,

Before all else, I wanna thank you so much. I've never thought of receiving such sweet and engaging thing from any friends. You are the first one who has successfully touched me to tears, I can say. This scrapbook helps me to recall about how close we used to be. You've once told me that many of your friends said we aren't as palsy-walsy as before, yes? I should sadly agree with them. After that 'something' happened between you and 'someone', we don't contact each other everyday like we used to do. It's me who always act unfriendly whenever you shared your stories, true? Screw me. I'm sorry for being cynical all this time. I terribly hope that we'll be sister-like again - sharing everything, suggesting what's may be the best, and etc.

So, the first thought that came to my mind when seeing this thing was : "Cool, it's Mickey Mouse." (I know it sounds so ridiculous.) Turning to the first page, I was surprised to see the five-year-old me. Have I ever showed you that picture? I can hardly remember --" Then I read the first note on the third page and tears just fell down on my cheeks. I am not exaggerating!! Oh yes. You apologized for grammar errors in the scrapbook, didn't you? Hm, Cici, no matter how many errors are there in this book, I don't bloody care. This thing will always be the most unforgettable gift from you to me, I swear. Last but not least, thank you again for having that benevolent intention to make the scrapbook when exam's just around the corner. Have the best luck for your exams !! xoxo.

Go sneak and peek two pictures of the scrapbook ;)

The Micky Mouse looks great !

That's the five-year-old me. --"

With love, stevaniewu.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

Hit the books !

2011-05-19T20:29:00.001+07:00

How are days going, people? Mine are pretty strenuous lately. I am preparing myself for the state universities' entrance exams, which will be held on 31 May - 1 June. The fact that it's coming in a short time pretty much stressed me out. I'm quite ready for the examination, I can say. However, I am not ready mentally. My teachers keep on telling us to pray much, so I do. Frankly speaking, I am not a very religious girl who's used to pray everyday, but because it's about my future, I try to habituate myself to repeat the same prayer to my grandparents every morning. "Grandpa, Grandma, and grand-grandparents, bless me so that I am able to study well and to go to the university which I've been dreaming of." I've repeated this same thing for weeks. Hopefully, they are not bored tee-hee.

And so, I've decided to make UGM and USU as my choices. I used to have UI as my biggest desire, but considering my passing grade in four tryouts, I realize that it's too high a dream. Medical major in UI needs +- 61 %, while so far, my highest score is just 55+%. See the distinction? Therefore, I've given up on it and have chosen UGM instead. Still, another problem emerged not long after I've completed the registration : I checked UGM's website and found out that Medical major there costs an arm and a leg. I felt so crestfallen that time. I told mom about this, afraid that she'll probably be upset or something, but this's what she told me : "Just stop worrying about financial problems, will you? Tell you, even if it means I and Dad should sell our properties, we won't mind. As long as you can achieve your dreams and be our future doctor." And the next thing I know is that my heart thumped faster. I'm afraid that I'll disappoint Dad and Mom. Nonetheless, I vow I will study hard to reach my dream. No more slacking off and let's get down to brass tacks ! *finger crossed*

Enough with those hard matters. So, JT's birthday is coming in hours !! Her birthday party was held last Saturday at Spageddies. She looked so graceful and slender in her white dress. The party itself, was interesting as she prepared a lot of games. D and I joined one of the games and we won ! Quite ridiculous though, lol. Em, so I guess JT's party that day was the last party for our class. After this month, everyone's leaving the hometown and is going to his/her own path..................................

Let the pictures tell more.

Me and Desilia

Me, Jimmy, Imelda, and Vina

Me and D

Has officially graduated from Senior High School :)

Unexpectedly got the second rank for the sixth semester.

and they encourage me whenever I'm about to leave my desk.

Will be back with another post, soon :)

Danie.

2011-05-08T10:24:00.002+07:00

This boy has accompanied me for more than a week. D gave me Dan on April 28. I was surprised when he said he's coming to my house that night. I thought he wanted to have his DVDs back, but I was wrong. After that, all I know was that the teddy bear's here, in my arms.

Maybe just one.

2011-04-27T16:00:00.002+07:00

Decided to post so my blog won't seem so grim. Em, it has been 6 days since the national exams ended. Thanks to teachers who, whether by chance or intentionally, being lenient, that our class could do quite 'well' in the test. The next days were spent by rehearsing with classmates for our class' performance in the PromNite. We practiced hard, I can say. But unfortunately, on Sunday night, the microphones weren't working and they screwed up our performance. I asked some of my friends from other classes whether we're doing really bad, and they told me that the singing part was, well, a total wreck. "But," they added, "the reading poems part was awesome." I felt satisfied by the time I heard it. I'm proud of my classmates(W,N, etc) who came up with the brilliant idea. And after the party ended, I stayed at melda's. Truth to be told, it was my first experience spending a night in a friend's room. It's mm not that bad, but I couldn't sleep really well :/

National exam checked, PromNite checked. So basically, I don't have pretty much things to do. My intensive course started yesterday and hopefully it can make my days less boring. I did have A LOT of plans with Melda, but seems she's quite occupied with her upcoming speech competition. Perhaps, I'll just wait. There's no rush, is there?

Anyway, yesterday was 26, our three monthsary. I made a simple video as a little present for D the other day, but too bad, it can't be viewed from his mobile phone -_____- So, we spent it differently from last months - we didn't have lunch together, we didn't go for movie in cinema, we didn't go anywhere, but watching dvd. It's his idea, not that bad, is it? Be together after not meeting for 10 days, well, quite an evening ! ♥

At melda's

We are one.

2011-04-10T22:33:00.001+07:00

My brother and sister are going to celebrate their birthday tomorrow, Eighteenth for Kevin and fourteenth for Vivian. Not that their birthdays are close to each other that Pa and Ma decided to similize them, but they were really born on the same month and date which is April 11. Some of you might find it to be funny, however that's the fact. My family, itself, has a very unique contingency as our birth dates are literally near with one another. For instance, like I've said, my siblings got the same birthday. Mom's is November 19, while mine is two days before it. Pa's is on March 26 - not too faraway from my siblings', no? Ha ha. Maybe that's a little thing about us.

As I grow older (Ya, the bitter fact which I should accept since I'm graduating in weeks.), I find out that my siblings and I got differences in our characters, habits, and ways of socializing. There's no doubt that we live in the same house and console things with the same person - Mom, but why can't we be similar in our personalities? I mean, why on earth can't I be the same with them in most things? Give you an example. Kevin love branded stuffs, he loves to modify his hairstyles, he can idle and do nothing for hours, while me? I don't really fall for branded bags or clothes. I had never really changed my hairstyle, well, maybe I did alter my bangs' style sometimes. I can't just waste my time without doing something, at least I should be occupied by games or chats. On the other hand, Vivi loves to wear watches, bracelets, and necklaces. She has a lot of ribbons in her wardrobe. Contrarily, I can't stand wearing them. I have tried to wear a necklace once, and it itched my neck ! So up to this moment, I basically don't have any of those in my wardrobe. I am quite depressed every time I think about my dissimilarities with Vi, like I am girl, I should at least love to explore shops which sell girly stuffs, but o my god, I don't. Talking about ways of socializing, Ko and Vi aren't introverts at all. They have ample of friends. I, myself, is an introvert with few friends -__________- Tell me, what am I supposed to do? It is just impossible for me to either act as fastidious as Ko or as girly as Vi. Gees. Well, despite of those differences between me and my siblings, we still have one likeness in common : We indubitably love Pa and Ma.

Dear Ko and Vi, perhaps I quarreled much with you before. Perhaps I have hurt you with my harsh comments or bored you with my babbles about him or my stories. Perhaps I have been troublesome to you guys, but trust me, I love both of you, earnestly and sincerely.

September 29,2010

Taken on June, at Brastagi.

Taken some months ago.

Happy early birthday, Kevin Wu and Vivian Wu.

Hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true !

Be thankful.

2011-04-01T19:12:00.004+07:00

Halo April. I know you'll be good to me, that in your very first day, you've taught me a simple yet significant lesson. I don't know whether this will sound eminent to you guys, but I am going to tell you something which came to my mind this evening.

It was drizzling, and I was at my tuition. I asked my brother to fetch me by car, but he didn't reply any of my chats. I tried to call mom, but she was so busy with her works and didn't answer my phone calls, either. I felt mad, so freaking upset that time. So, I decided to go home by myself, using a pedicab. Because of the rain, it was quite difficult for me to find one, that made me feel even worse. Had been waiting for some minutes, a man who drove a pedicab finally offered me his service. And then, I told him my address and he mentioned the fee. I bargained once and agreed to pay Rp. 7000. Not long afterwards, the rain's getting heavier,but the man didn't seem to stop to wear his raincoat and kept driving. Traffic jam stopped us for some times while the rain didn't bother to stop. I felt quite worry, the man was all wet ! Thereupon, my mind started to spin. This man drove all the way to my home, with the raindrops falling on his body, which wasn't in raincoat.... for what? FOR SEVEN THOUSAND RUPIAHS, ONLY. Look at me. I spend approximately 15,000 rupiahs a day, without doing any struggles. I drank cups of coffee which cost more than 5 times of his income for one service, each. How can I still feel unsatisfied with my life? How can't I be grateful of everything I have?.... We arrived, and I was still so occupied with my thoughts when I paid him. I desire so many things that I don't have. I ask for this and that, without considering much of papa and mama's efforts. I bought whatever the foods I am craving for. I often complain to mom because she has never allowed me to try Häagen-Dazs. I'm cranky when she doesn't let me buy the clothes I want. I'm upset when papa doesn't allow me to go out............. My goddess, have I really appreciate things I got?

Well people, let's try not to complain for something we don't have, and try to say thanks for every single thing we got. We think we're unlucky, but there's so many people out there who are unluckier than us. We want so many things, but they're starved to death. Be thankful, pretty pretty please.

I-am-bored-post.

2011-03-31T22:07:00.003+07:00

Do you have feelings for anyone?

I do.

Without saying names, what could you say about the last person you kissed?

She's my most beloved one :)

Who was the last person you physically hit?

One of my classmate lol

Do you think things will change in the next few months?

Undeniably yes, things won't be the same after graduation.

What song are you currently listening now?

Mike Posner - Please don't go.

Is there someone that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yes.

What is your opinion on late night phone calls?

Interesting, but with certain people only.

Have you cried in the last week?

Yes :/

Something you really want right now?

A machine which could make the time ticks slower.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Hopefully yes.

How many people can you trust with just about everything?

One.

Where is the one guy you want to see the most right now?

His room, perhaps.

Do you currently have a hickey, if so where?

Nope.

Will you regret your next kiss?

No, as long as I'm kissing people I love - pa ma

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care?

Yes.

Ever had a boy best friend?

Yes.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend?

Best friend is preferable.

What is in your pocket?

Not a thing.

You never know what you got until you lose it? True or false?

False. I will never know I got something if I've lost it.

Your best friend has unprotected sex, you say?

Will tell your mommy, this is for your sake.

How’s your life lately? Right now?

Life's good. Thanks Buddha.

Have you held hands with anybody in the last 3 days?

No.

Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous?

It's kinda funny if I know they're trying to do so. ha ha

Do you reply to all of your texts?

Nope, most of them though.

You kissed someone last night, didn’t you?

Yes.

Would you date the last person you kissed?

would love to !

Do you think they’ll ask you out?

Hah?

How do you feel about Dr. Pepper?

Got zero idea.

Where is the weirdest place you have slept?

My aunt's sofa.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?

Water.

Day been rough?

Ya, starvation's tormenting.

Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?

So freaking easy, seriously.

Do you think you’ve changed over the past year?

In some ways.

When is the next time you will see any of your siblings?

A minute.

Are you wasting your time on someone?

Probably no.

Do you care if people hate you?

Scarcely.

Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?

No.

Is it possible to kiss the last person you kissed again?

So yes.

What’s the nearest holiday to your birthday?

Winter?

If anything, if you could fix anything with someone who means a lot to you, would you?

I don’t think I need to fix anything with anyone who means a lot to me.

Describe how you feel right now in two words?

Slothful and perplexed

Has anyone ever made you a promise and broke it?

Yup.

What color shirt were you wearing?

When?

What were you doing at 12 am last night?

Playing pokemon.

Is there a person of the opposite sex that means a lot to you?

Yes.

Are all of your friends in relationships?

No.

Do you plan on moving within a year?

Maybe yes.

Do you believe that the last person that you kissed cares for you?

I do believe so much.

Would you go out in public looking like you do right now?

Nawh.

Are you starting to realize anything?

Kind of.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them?

Rarely.

Do you like to cuddle?

No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything?

Yes.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

Big no.

How far away is the last person you kissed?

2 meters

Has anyone told you they were in love with you?

Yes.

Do you dislike the last person you kissed?

No.

Have you ever cleaned up someone elses vomit?

Never, would love to try once, since I'll need to do so, no? lol

What are you doing tomorrow?

Boring schedules, as usual.

Do you get over people easily?

I’ve only ever really had to get over one person, and em not that easy yet not that difficult.

Are you single and content, single and not content, crushing, or taken?

Taken.

Do you think the last person you hugged cares for you?

Yes.

Does any part of your body hurt right now?

My back’s aching a bit like.

Are you happy with the way things are going?

They aren't seem to going anywhere -_-

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them?

Yes, if I'm not occupied with sth.

You wake up, all your hair is gone, your first reaction:

Shock and scream out loud.

Tumblr.

2011-03-28T21:45:00.002+07:00

Not that I'm moving to tumblr, but I find it to be so addictive. I have been posting some of my favorite quotes and reblog-ed quite a lot. tee-hee :)

More than overjoyed.

2011-03-26T16:10:00.002+07:00

The twenty sixth of March has always been a momentous day to our family. Apart from it, since to months ago, 26 has become a remarkable date for me. Therefore, I am here to type what's happened within some hours of today.

It was 6 o'clock in the morning when I have done with everything - shower and books to be taken. I deliberately set my alarm to ring earlier, so that I'd be able to give Daddy surprise. I was quite late, but thankfully there was Mom who helped me to prepare the cake and candles. When we were ready - candles on, cake on palms, mobile's camera standby-ed, we(me, mom, vi) walked into pama's bedroom and woke Daddy up. Perhaps he was still dreaming when we abruptly shouted 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA', that he didn't give any responds to us. Vivi looked disappointed, but I wasn't giving up and kept on calling daddy up. I made it, Daddy's up and he was like "O my god, why on earth should you guys do this thingies?" All of us were then screamed with laughters... Right after daddy's done with blowing candles and cutting the cake, we kissed him.

Beside daddy's birthday, today is my second monthsary with D. Two months. Don't you think time really flies? The lunchtime we spent together last month is still obviously pictured in my mind, the way he guffawed because of me thinking he's forgotten that day, the awkward time when I didn't know how to act when he was bursting into laughters....... And now, it's another one month of us. Just like the twenty sixth before, we had our lunch together. I don't know why, but I was much happier when I left the school today than last month. Perhaps it's because we spent more time (?) Well, whatever the reason is, I am currently in an unutterable feeling.

Happy Birthday Daddy,

And happy two months, D.

Egoistic, can I?

2011-03-18T17:34:00.001+07:00

I desire everything. I want to grasp everything for my own. I want to pour out whatever that comes to my mind without fathoming about others' feeling. I want to be hoggish, but life isn't that benevolent, and I just can't. I am destined to obey, to do every single commands. I have never asked for something which is out of their capability, neither have I demanded for justices. I do really try to be good. However, about this thing, I want them to understand me - I have big dreams.

It was two days ago when we did the very last paper from our school. What a relief, it means there won't be any stressing days afterwards, no more brain racking tests. National exam which will be held on April 18 will not be as difficult as school's, they say. Notwithstanding, it also means graduation is getting nearer. I will be wearing my white-grey uniforms for less than 5 weeks. Basically, I am not ready. I can't imagine how's life without my present daily routines - wake up, shower, school, tuitions, shower, sleep, wake up and so on. Envisaging days without friends around is horrifying. I will miss them so much...

"But when we leave this year, we won't be coming back."

Get to know yourself better.

2011-02-26T16:10:00.003+07:00

Found this link in some of my friends' blog, so I decided to give a try.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Paramour.

2011-02-26T15:04:00.002+07:00

Time passes swiftly and by today, it has been a month since the night he asked me about being his girlfriend. My heart can still beat faster every time I reminisce about that night. I was kinda speechless before I eventually said I agreed. Up until now, our relationship has never really appeared to be on the rocks. We did have some problems, but auspiciously, we can manage every problems well.

Graduation is coming in less than three months. This is good because I will soon be free from those piling up papers, no more busy schedules and depressing exams. But on the other hand, graduation means goodbyes. I can no longer meet my best friends everyday, no more everyday-sharing times... Beside those, I have to prepare myself for an LDR, in case I am going to Jakarta to continue my studies. I have never been in one before. Whether both sides can carry on the relationship when we are kilometers apart, I don't know. We'd never really talked about this thing, anyway.

How long will this relationship last? Will we be a match made in heaven? Who knows? What I know is that at this moment, I am head over heels in love with him.

Happy one month, D ! I thought you forgot about today, but then, you said you were just pretending to and that was relieving..............

Agony

2011-02-16T19:27:00.001+07:00

February 14 is universally acknowledged as Saint Valentine's Day. Love is in the air, and chocolates are normally given to boyfriends or close friends. So, how was mine? mm, two days before feb 14, I still got no idea about what should I buy for D, I thought about making chocolates weeks ago. But because of the try out on Saturday, I had no time to buy the materials. Therefore, the making chocolate plan was initially being cancelled. However, that night, Imelda told me that she was going out and sooo I asked for her help - to buy things I needed. The next morning, we started the chocolate making and finished at approximately 1 pm. After that, we rushed to Sun Plaza because Imelda's going to attend her friend's birthday feast. While she's with her friends, I helped J to find a present for his girlfriend. I asked him to help me about what to buy too, but he gave me no idea .__.v At last, we were loitering around when a small notebook in Paper Clip caught my attention, in all of a sudden, an idea came to my mind and later, the notebook was used to write some naked-truths..... tee-hee. Apart from all of my plans, this year's valentine was special to our family, too. Why? Because Daddy bought a huge chocolate for us. He put it on the sofa, and he's like.. giving surprise !! Sounds simple, but well, it's sweet to me !!

Em, I am not feeling so good these two days. My head has been throbbing since this morning, my tongue tastes weird, and my body is in pain. Mom said that it's because I am not used to play volley. But I have convinced her that I am okay with it, and I added that it's just because I didn't drink much water. Mommy trusted me and allowed me to keep playing volley. Yes.

Chocolates for D

This is the huge chocolate.

And I found another stultifying photos of mine, which were taken 4 months ago, too -________- A A A A

No pain, no gain.

2011-02-10T21:35:00.003+07:00

Found those photos which were taken approximately 4 months ago. And guess what, I feel lugubrious. I should be more serious in pursuing the m i s s i o n. Alright? Full stop.

Brief post.

2011-02-08T21:19:00.002+07:00

Kay, brief post. Have you watched both Shaolin and The Mechanic? I watched them two days ago with D. mm, according to me, Shaolin is much preferable. It conveys more lessons than The Mechanic does. The Mechanic itself, is more sadistic in its murdering ways. Recommended though :)

mm, have you ever felt so nervous and your heart pounding rapidly?

Indescribable closeness, we had.

2011-02-04T16:36:00.003+07:00

Yesterday was the first day of the chinese rabbit year, and as always, everyone dressed in his/her best and new clothes. Children has been eagerly waiting for this day because of what-oh-so-called Ang Pao, while adults are waiting for the reunion time with family. I myself, am not as enthusiastic as I used to be. I don't know why, but mama said it's because I am no more a kid. I am growing up. It's the holiday, book-free days, I am excited about. O yes, and it's the cookies and foods too. tee-hee.

We visited both dad's and mom's big family. No one has altered much from the last time we met, but it's the absence of dad's mom, who is my grandma, and mom's nephew, that made this year unalike last year. Grandma passed away some months ago, while my cousin demised a month ago. Yes, considering those mournings, we are not supposed to celebrate chinese new year, but on the other hand, it's mom's mother we are thinking about. She's currently having complex ailments. We didn't even tell her about the death of my cousin, because we know she will be paralyzed and depressed. Our family's doctor has once said : " It's the medicines which liven her up, her body organs are all destroyed, they can't work without the presence of those medicines. So, dare not skip any time for medicines. And you guys have to thank god, it's miraculous that she can still alive until this moment time. I thought she is dying in two months, but I was wrong.. Be prepared for the worst." I was numb with shock when I heard it from mom. It's like.. how come? Phopho has never been so sick before, she can go to market by herself, buy clothes and candies for us, and.. it's just implausible that the doctor has once said she's going to die in two months. Well, I have to admit that Phopho is no longer young, she's in her eighties and kay, 'that time' is to come sooner or later. But after meeting her yesterday, with her smiles everywhere on her face, without knowing the fact that one of her grandson has death for thirty days, makes it even harder for us to..prepare for the worst... We took some photos with her, and that feeling when seeing her smiling to the camera, is indescribable..... I love her..

It's been ten days, no? :)

The tiger is to meet its ending.

2011-02-02T23:39:00.002+07:00

Right, second post for today. So, it is lunar new year's eve. My mama's big family gathered at a typical restaurant and ate together just now. There are approximately sixty of us - grandpa, grandma, aunties, uncles, the adolescents,the newlyweds, kids, infants, and some servants. What so good about today is the togetherness, as we can barely meet each other because we have our own daily bustles. The bad thing is I ate quite much today and that means I am not in the mission, which I mentioned yesterday. But just make today as an exceptional kay.

mm, since I've got nothing to do, I am going to type some random facts about myself. Don't mind -_-v
1. I dislike bracelets, earrings, necklaces, or anything like those. I don't even have holes on my ear, which are needed to wear earrings.
2. I don't wear watches, and I have none.
3. I don't have any ribbons or hair clips or headbands, my sister does.
4. I prefer oversize T-shirts rather that body fits'. Two reason : I am not skinny and Oversize tees allow me to eat much.
5. I love Mickey Mouse, but I don't collect many things with it as the pattern. I have a doll, an alarm clock, a small notebook, that's all.
6. I can listen to my friends' problems, but I am not good in giving solutions or suggestions.

Ha that's all, I have finally found something to do - helping mommy in no time. See you, and Happy early Chinese New Year people x

Infatuated.

2011-02-02T13:30:00.003+07:00

I was browsing through my google chrome this morning, opened youtube and searched some music videos which I happened to watch in the TV few weeks ago, and haphazardly, I found him : Jason Chen. He has that compelling and unique sound. He sings both English and Mandarin songs well, that's a very plus point, isn't it?And, I've been repeating some of his cover songs tee-hee

It's indeed catchy.

2011-02-01T21:55:00.002+07:00

Time waits for no man - indeed. It's now February first. I keep asking myself : "What have I done so far?" and the only thing I can say is.. "Procrastinating ." Yeah, big sigh for my short, enervating answer. I can do nothing about this. I did make a lot of plans for each day - to finish blah sets of papers, to revise blah chapters of Biology, to browse and find out more about one specific disease which is happening presently - Unfortunately, I always end up doing none of them, but laying on the bed, misusing every single ticks of the clock.

I wrote about my decreasing scores or rank in my last post, didn't I? So, I've received the report card and yes, I am the seventh. I used to be the third. I haven't showed it to mama, because I know she'll be profoundly disappointed. But well, sooner or later, I have to tell her, no? Anyway, the upcoming monthly exam has been cancelled. It's good because I can enjoy my Chinese New Year holiday without studying or doing any papers, but on the other hand, it's bad because it means we will just have merely one exam for the sixth semester. What if I don't do well and end up getting bad scores? Kay, brooding over what ifs isn't good -_-x

Lately, I am undertaking a mission, name it : Mission (quite) Impossible. As a matter of fact, I've tried to start running this mission for few times in the past, but yea, I failed. So what on earth is happening that I finally decided to try it again? I don't want to feel a w k w a r d. Nonetheless, I can manage it well so far, I can bear those temptations and I've lost 2 blah.

Well, back to the main reason why I decided to post : January 26. It's remarkable because something occurred that night, at approximately 9 pm ---

And so, here comes the rivalries in families.

2011-01-24T19:14:00.003+07:00

"Don't expect too much. That's just a temporary crush, normal boys won't withstand long with a fleshy girl like you." "But.. he was so whole-hearted when he told his feelings to me ! Can't I believe him? Well, of course, most of the confessions were followed by jokes....." "Not that you can't, but having too much confidence about his sincerity will just hurt you. And besides, did he stare at your eyes when he was confessing? Was the gaze convincing? Nah, they're followed by jokes, how can you be so doubtless that he's serious?" "..... em, actually we rarely meet. We speak much by..." "Phone of course, isn't it?" "No, by chats... Look, does staring at each other eyes really matter these days? I know he's serious though !" "So, this boy has indeed infatuated you. But still, I'm suggesting you not to be overconfidence. Don't let his sweet words craze you. And didn't you tell me that he has once told one of your boy friends, that he isn't going to commit a serious relationship with you? His reason was logical enough - he can't bear the "temptations" around him. So why should you contemplate these? Keep your focus, your future is to be considered as the priority, no?" "But.............................."

Bad news. My rank will tumble down drastically this time. I've never thought my monthly test scores will be used as my final results, and this kind of thing has never happened to my seniors. Whom to blame? Still myself. I always think that there'll be a second chance, no more. But this time, I won't be so strict to myself. I am trying to let the bygones be bygones. Being too hard won't give me any advantages, but burdens. I won't stay awake till midnight just to finish those piling up papers, I want to enjoy my high school lives.

So, they underestimated me. They said I won't make it through the entrance exams without paying much money. They told me to just give up and not to dream too much that I can enter the best medical faculties in Indonesia. No money, no good educations, they warned. You know what? THE MORE THEY UNDERRATE ME, THE MORE EFFORTS I WILL DO TO PROVE THAT THEY'RE WRONG. Money isn't everything, remember? Money without travails is merely nothing. And to you, my most beloved cousin, I have never thought you will worsen this squabbling, but you do. On the other hand, I believe that He's sending you guys to enhance my spirits and strengthen me...

Provocation

2011-01-22T16:35:00.001+07:00

She has finally made it. Telling my mom about me being so arrogant towards her, that I didn't answer any of her chats, and I didn't call her every night. I was dumbfounded when mommy rebuked me last night. The 'she', I am talking about now is the cousin, whom I talked about in my last post, remember? I am like "Ha? WHY SHOULD I CALL HER EVERY NIGHT? I am neither her kid nor her girlfriend, so why should I do so? And besides, it is a severe lie, if she said I didn't answer any of her chats. I DID ANSWER EVERY SINGLE QUESTIONS. She asked everything, like I've said - universities, majors and etc. Well, maybe I didn't directly answer her chats when I feel bushed, but howsoever, I still replied, didn't I? Dear cousin, not that I don't love you, I do. But please, don't provoke any resentments or fights. Enough. You've told people about the secrets, I've once told you not to tell others, yes? Just enough.......

"You aren't wise enough, before you try to apologize your enemies and let go of the pasts"

Try.

2011-01-21T19:40:00.001+07:00

Perhaps, we all have that friends, who love to judge us for whatever we are doing. We try to behave well towards them, listen to every opinions they give, satisfy them by helping something we aren't supposed to do, but all they can do is jeering, humiliating, and spreading something bad about us. By doing those, they feel like winners, that they've succeeded in interfering our lives. Our friends, whom they tell bad things about us to, will be their pals so we won't have as many friends as they do. Anyhow, mine might be a little bit different, I believe I don't have such friends around me, but a cousin. He/She acts so well in front of me - asking me about which university I am going, whether I am taking any tuition for preparation, and etc. He/She might have forgotten about what he/she has once done to my friendships....... Kay, talking about this makes me feel terribly sick !

I told you about me and Imelda going to Jogjakarta to attend the UGM entrance test, yes? Bad news ! The test has been abolished and that's really too bad .___. Let's think positively, no entrance test on March means I will have more time to prepare for another entrance tests, isn't it? As a matter of fact, I have prepare merely nothing, I am procrastinating e v e r y d a y.

Lately, I'm reading a book : Si cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangannya. Read it before? If no, it's highly recommended. It's really inspiring and motivating. I got a lot of lessons. These are some of my favorite lines :

"..... karmas"

"Yes, it's possible ! Something unexpected usually happens."

"If you are to sweep the floor, devote everything you have."

"How many times in our life have been wasted because of worrying something which has no solutions, and that's why not a problem?"

"There's no good to think about how ifs or what ifs. Live you present life, don't let the fear of what's coming next, ruins your days....."

She is.

2011-01-17T23:58:00.002+07:00

Happy New Year ! I know this is way too late, but since this is my first post in 2011, I guess I need to say that, don't I? So, we've been going to school for two weeks by now, and as always, my homeworks are piling up. I've just done one fourth or maybe just one eighth of them L. Our fifth semester exam is coming after Chinese New Year's holidays, yet I am still procrastinating. Um, talking about procrastinations, I have actually vowed not to let that thief of time taking control of myself, but guess, I am not trenchant enough.

We have finally inaugurated our class' name : THE MASK - The Marvelous Accelerated Student Kingdom. Considering the number of students in our class, we didn't held any formal party for the inauguration, but just taking some photos with our form teacher. It's fun and that togetherness feelings are.....unforgettable.

See the picture I uploaded, in the beginning of the post? It's me and Imelda. We have been classmates since I entered the accelerated class, but lately, we become quite closer. We hang out every two days after school, hunting foods and books, shopping, etc. Oh, and she's going for UGM entrance test too, just like me ! Isn't it a good news? What even better is that our mamas have allowed us to go to Jogjakarta directly for the test !

Some more pictures :

Have you ever heard of this : "Single, but taken?"

The last-ditch

2010-12-31T21:09:00.003+07:00

2010 is about to end in less than 4 hours by now. I am not having any parties with friends or cousins, but sitting and about to jot a new post. I am still wondering, am I ready to face this new year? Ready, ready not, I should face it.... mm so, I can now put another check in my to-do-list : to learn how to drive. Done with the five-day-driving-course doesn't mean I'm ready to drive fluently though, I still need papa or brother to accompany me whenever I'm going to drive our own car. The chauffeur who trained me these five days gave me an eight, but I think he was exaggerating. Apart from driving things, I also baked brownies and made some cornflakes. They are both luscious, said papa. No wonder, I feel so contented yes?

I envisaged something while we were on the way home this evening : isn't that sweet to have a guy/girl you love confessing his/her feelings right at 00.00 am, January 1? To have your best friends call you just to say happy new year, your boyfriend/girlfriend call you just to whisper an "I love you". But what even sweeter is to spend this last day with family, like what I'm going to do - playing fireworks at our terrace. It is the most simplest way to celebrate new year, I know, but it's also the sweetest way I've ever experienced so far.

Kay, so Happy early 2011, people. Keep focusing, be determined and don't stop trying x

Finding your feet.

2010-12-29T20:58:00.003+07:00

I believe, all of us have those thoughts, sanctions or questions, which keep on haunting us, even in our dreams. We do try to overlook them every time they come to our mind, but they are simply not that easy to be receded and discarded. Everything, such as, listening to music, playing video games, chatting with best friends, has been done, just to intrude them from coming closer, but those suspending minds are still there. So what are we supposed to do? To solve them, to find the answers, they say. However, according to me, some problems are better be left unsolved. Not that I am not responsible, but I am just too afraid of answers, which might be beyond my expectations.

2010 is about to meet her ending, yet I’m not ready to let her go. I feel like, I need more of her, 365 days aren't enough. Screw me, I am the one who keep on procrastinating, slacking around like there’s no time limits. Regret comes late, no? Ha so what can I do? Nothing, but waiting for another span-new days and pledging myself that it won't happen again.

Some monotonous shoots, please don't mind, I am bored to death.

P.S : I am way too c h i l d i s h. I can't believe that I still got that ~~'feeling'~~ when I saw something every night.

What if when I do, you don't?

2010-12-27T20:04:00.001+07:00

I do want to know about the seriousness of that sentence which was once said by someone. I simply can't believe it right away. Comparing myself to her, I am merely nothing. I am no better in everything. Moreover, she has that ability : to keep a conversation going even when there's nothing significant, which I indeed don't have. I am not that kind of girl, who can find many topics in a short while, no one to blame, I have always been this person for sixteen years. Kay, I envy her, some might say. But the fact is, I don't. I am just worried, that the sentence which was once dedicated to me, will then be..... Forget it. I am not talking more about this.

Fits.

2010-12-24T21:02:00.002+07:00

Kay so I found some pictures which describe my feelings like seriously.

Enough with them ! Anyway, Happy Christmas Eve people ! x

First impressions.

2010-12-24T17:37:00.003+07:00

They said that first impression does take part in the continuance of ones relationship in the future, whether they will be playmates or enemies, friends or best friends, lovers or foes. Presently, most first impressions are seen by appearances, whereas demeanors, attitudes, or personalities take not much parts. Maybe they do, but they might be the second or third. A girl without nice or unique look won't attract any boys in her school, she will even have fewer friends than her chic girls friends. We simply can't refuse to believe it, because the fact is : this thing happens.

So, back to my life. I have finally put another check in my to-do-list. I bake cupcakes ! I woke up quite early this morning because I was so elated. Imelda came to my house at approximately 7 15, googled some recipes, and then Pasarame was our first destination. There were only some people that time, and most of the shops haven't opened yet, including the shop we're going to. So we hunted for some dvds, had our brief breakfast and we finished right when the shop was opening. Done buying things which were written on our notes, we walked to Imelda's.

I met Imelda's parents and siblings. They are all so nice. Her mama even helped us in the baking sections. We prepared, mixed, and baked. The cupcakes are palatable, at least that's what Imelda's mama said. Their looks aren't so teetotal like those which are baked by professionals though. But what matters is that : I feel so exhilarated.

Alter the scheme !

2010-12-23T16:41:00.002+07:00

It's finally over. I didn't do well in all subjects, especially math. It was so screwed. But who cares anyway? Holiday is here, right here, right now.. So yesterday, The Mask went to Grand Aston to take photos for our class albums and after that, some of us went to sun. I watched Tron Legacy 3D with four others, and guess what.. The movie is stunning !!

Kay, so this is my first post in December. A lot of things happened within 22 days, nothing has really impressed me though, but one. If I am not mistaken, it was December 5. My aunt took us to two fortune-tellers. Kevin, Vivian and I are too young for that kind of thing so we can't be 'read' by them. One of the grannies was done with both mom and aunt when she suddenly turned her head to me and say : "You are better with longer hair, so let it grow. You will have a kind husband, who won't urge you to do something you don't want to. He has two siblings, he loves to do charity and he's a successful man. You will have two children." After that, I was perturbed. What on earth was happening that she can suddenly say that?. And as a matter of fact, I don't believe in any of that.

Last but not least, let some pictures tell you what's happening within December :

Dec 22. Grand Aston, class's photo sessions.

Caroline, Evelyn, Imelda, Stevanie, Ida

Ida, Stevanie, Imelda, Evelyn

Stevanie and Caroline

My first frozen yoghurt with some toppings ! Yes, first one.

Dec 13. Bakerzin, nathali's birthday party.

Imelda and Stevanie

Evelyne and Stevanie

Dec 9. USU - Language faculty, Mandarin Speech Competition

Finally, let you see this. tee-hee.

P.S : Do you know how it feels to have this kind of feeling, which grow surreptitiously, without any of your intentions? I do.

These describe.

2010-11-30T21:08:00.003+07:00

I'm speechless.

2010-11-30T15:41:00.001+07:00

I'm.... speechless. Can't explain how I am feeling right now, I'm too aghast... This is just beyond my belief.. Thought I will have red marks everywhere on my report but, I have none and and I am the third from twenty... I am well, of course, feel exhilarated that I can, at least make my parents, especially mom, proud of me. I've been disappointing her for some times whether in academic or home-things. Thanks God, I am so grateful ...
On the other hand, I feel like... Am I really worth this rank? Or this is just what oh-so-called l u c k? You decide, classmates........

Congratulations to Nathali for being the first (as always) and Desilia Nilam for being the second !
To the rest of The Mask, I believe, you guys have done your best. If you are receding, then BUCK UP ! But if you've increased, KEEP IT UP !

Feeling a plunge of total dismay

2010-11-28T19:10:00.001+07:00

So, I've done the HSK this morning. It started at 9 and finished at approximately 11:30. I was so frigging nervous before it started, and still shivering when I was doing the papers. Not bad, but still.... I guess my lack-of-sleep-time is a futility.. Thought I will do it perfectly, but I did some mistakes in listening, forgot some vocabularies which I have, obviously, memorized the night before. Blame me for being oblivious T_T

Kevin fetched me from STBA-PIA and then all I know was I felt so sleepy.... Looked myself on the mirror and I stifled a laugh. 'See? Futility, got no perfect result and poof ! Eye bags growing', I thought. We went to a vegetarian cafe for a scrumptious lunch.. Homed. And I felt those pains all over my body.. I skipped tuition and was napping for 3 hours, and still.. I am whacked.

This is what I have, it tastes not bad. ratings: ★★★

Fried chocolate-cheese banana. ratings : ★★★★★

So, I found out that, sharing about you having crush on a guy, isn't a very good thing to do, especially to those who aren't so good in keeping secret. Blame me again, for being so fastidious, that I've told them... :(

Rule #1 never tell a guy that you like them because then they will immediately stop liking you. So don't do it. ---

Teacher's Day

2010-11-28T18:49:00.001+07:00

Haven't posted anything about what was happening on Thursday, which was teacher's day.. Our class gave 12 favorite teachers Clover's sponge cakes with various flavors, such as chocolate, pineapple, blueberry, etc. That morning, we were all sweating because we ran here and there just to find a teacher... I remembered it was the most exhausting to wait for Mr. Rudi Elisa, who was so occupied with his class -_- We had our free time for the first time in Maths ! ha-ha. We sang some songs for Mrs. Ng Tjiek Kie, too. In brief, just check these photos with their captions underneath.

Winnie is giving the first sponge cake to Mr. NTK

They're singing the prayer, sharing notebook.

Joshua, Me, and Ricky

Me and Joshua

Me and Ricky

Hudson and Me

Me and Jesslyne Angelee, sweetest sister :)

Me and Evelyn

Ricky gave Mr. Manaek the sponge cake.

The Mask with Mr. Manaek

Yolita gave Mr. Tan Tjin Tjin

Christine gave Mr. Sipayung

Some girls with Mr. Sipayung

The sweetest... erm, friendship :p

Should be my favorite, I gave Mr. Rudi :)

Evelyne, Me, Albert and Jimmy

Desilia gave Mr. Ali Thomas.

Our form teacher, Mr. Agus :)

Nathali gave Mr. Khoe Tjok Tjin

If I happened to..

2010-11-24T15:41:00.002+07:00

I did say about no more slacking, didn't I? But see what I am doing ! Instead of studying those hundreds of mandarin words, I am typing craps .___. Yeaa, just feels like want to write something......

I found one thing, which I can't do for a long time : I am not able to look straightforward to my friends' eyes -______- I know it's quite weird, okay, not quite, but dreadfully weird ! Whether it's my friends' or the eyes of someone I like, I just can't keep my eyes on theirs !! I am pretty sure that this is because I have no much confidence.. No, not the confidence in delivering speeches or what, this is the 'other' confidence, I am talking about.. I've never really been kind to myself, my physically look.. I keep on splattering bad words about it - Ugly, fat, eyebags, high forehead, wide hips, big buttock and bla bla bla.... Of course, you might think I'm a realistic, that I can realize about those facts, but still, I have to love myself yes? NOOO, not that I don't love myself.. It is quite nice to be fleshy, to have high forehead..... But those thoughts... just don't give me any confidence................... I have tried to look back to someone's eyes,sometimes, when he/she is staring at me, and yep ! they ended up with me looking other places whether the things behind or among them.. gees.. So, I am writing these to let you guys know.. If I happened to look away in agog when you're looking at me, it's not because I don't like to see you, but I just can't !!

我遇到一个人，一个我想看的人。。非常高兴噢！但是刚才有我的另一个朋友，我就不可以跟他聊天哦。。：（还有，每天下午大概六点，如果他还没呼我，我会变得很担心。。gee

You can't work on no fuel.

2010-11-23T15:46:00.001+07:00

Okay, I haven't posted anything since Wednesday, not busy, just too lethargic to sign in. Erm, have you watched the first part of the seventh Harry Potter ? I watched it on Saturday, with... myself !! That was my first experience watching all alone, but it's not bad. It's even interesting, that no one will see you crying when there are sad scenes and laughed at you. hehehehe, that's my opinion. So, Harry Potter has always been my favorite movie and novel.. I read the seventh novel for some times and I've never felt bored. This part 1 of the epic finale of Harry Potter is impeccable !!!! I don't understand why some of my friends aren't interested in it, but I really am infatuated !! I want to watch it again with one or some friends, but no one seems to be interested ): The movie isn't really the same as the novel, which is more comprehensive in explaining reasons why or how something can happen, so I guess those who didn't watch the movies before, won't really get the story. But after all, I will still recommend you to watch it asap !!

So... it was last night when I knew I was being deceived by a friend. No, I don't bear him/her a grudge though. I was instead, feel impressed about how he/she made up a story, which was so real.... Not talking about what was the story, will just keep it myself tee-hee. We share much these several days, and I find out that it's pleasurable to chat with him/her... Hope that our smiles won't falters, and we won't be strangers..

I am going to have HSK test this Sunday. One thousand and two hundreds words are to be memorize, and I've just done with approximately six hundreds.. So, what am I doing every night, then? I was giggling myself, chatting with a friend... Right, no more slacking is needed, but let's see if I can be really focusing on those....

November 17, the most picturesque day.

2010-11-17T22:24:00.005+07:00

So, gute nacht. I've just came back from a typical dinner with mommy and my siblings. Yes, that simple yet unforgettable dinner makes my birthday even more perfect.

I held a little feast in Papa Ron's this afternoon, invited my classmates, old and best friends, 35 people to be precise. I don't know whether they were enjoying that unpretentious lunch I served, but I did have a great and unforgettable sixteenth birthday. I got two surprises.

First, my brother, who has always been so frugal, bought me a cake. He said he will give me a present, but not today. So, I said it's okay even if you don't buy me one. But when I was talking to some of my friends, he suddenly came out with a cake and shout : "Happy Birthday Stevanie !". Well, you might think it's normal, but trust me, it's simply denotative for me.

Second, JT, DN, YY and some of my friends did some kind of scheme to lie to me ! Three of them said that they couldn't attend my party, because of some reasons, for instance, JT said that her mom was coming from Jakarta. But in fact, they came in the middle of the lunch ! They came with another cake and were singing happy birthday song. I was indeed befuddled.. How....? Well, that was one of my favorite parts.

I'm homed and done with the opening-gifts part. I got a new high-heels, dolls, photo-frames, handbag, purse and blah blah. I am so grateful, that I can celebrate this sixteenth birthday. Because next year, I am no longer a student..................

Finally, I would like to thank to Mom the most. Without her cares, affections and loves, I won't be here, typing these craps. And to my sister, V, who has makeover-ed me and give me a dress. Then, thanks to my classmates, old friends and close friends.......

These are some pictures in my phone, most of them are in the camera, coming soon : (sorry, have got no much time to rotate them -___-)

Jeannifer Jillian, she has helped me a lot.

Stevanie and David Ho

Ricky Chen and Stevanie

Sharen, Stevanie and Jeaniffer

Joshua and Stevanie

Stevanie and her brother !

Thanks God for the super day ♡.
~~P.S: my last post ain't really true. Guess i'm having a crush on a guy, typical guy.~~

我又让爸妈失望了。

2010-10-27T13:28:00.002+07:00

ｏｐｐｏｒｔｕｎｉｔｙｓｅｌｄｏｍｋｎｏｃｋｓｔｗｉｃｅ。Ｏｎｃｅｙｏｕｆａｉｌｅｄ，ｙｏｕｗｉｌｌｂｅｆａｉｌｅｄｅｖｅｎｔｈｏｕｇｈｙｏｕ＇ｖｅｔｒｉｅｄｍａｓｓｉｖｅｌｙｈａｒｄ。ｉｂｅｌｉｅｖｅｄ。

You know what, it was neither a gallant beginning nor an exemplary ending. Chemistry and Math exams are both rubbish ! I just feel like 'again?'.

I did globs of papers, much more than my friends do, I might say. But see what I get after putting much efforts? Another failures. Am I seriously that lame-brained that even doing much papers doesn't help anything? I guess no. hmmm maybe I am just unlucky. But is it possible that I am unlucky almost all the time?

Whatever it was, I tried to let go. To forget every single failures I made, but I am sick of these. Could you understand............................... :(

Mistakes.

2010-10-23T12:41:00.002+07:00

I did some sottish mistakes in Biology yesterday, not sure about the rests. Just if I could go back to twenty first October two thousand and ten, approximately eleven forty five ante meridiem, I would remedy those errors... But by all means, it is impossible.

SIGH

2010-10-20T19:35:00.002+07:00

They had never stopped saying that failure is a key to success, or failure teaches success or if you never failed, you will never win. They keep on encouraging me, they told me not to keep knuckling under a futility. But guess what, after today's chemistry test. I have changed my positive-optimistic-mindset to a pessimistic-mindset.

I've got a very down-to-heel marks last monthly test and I furtively hoped that I will make a good strike this time.But what I did was overwhelmingly a rubbish ! I do know, I am not supposed to mad at myself. If I tell you guys about these, I am quite sure that your answers will be : "Try harder next time." But this is different. I've tried harder for some times but what I get are always the same. I was kinda sick of these last night, but I am totally sick of these today !! This ain't a good beginning for the onwards test. Shame on me.

DREAM

2010-09-12T11:08:00.002+07:00

I want a bedroom like this, look. the curtain, the picture, the clock, the dolls, the drawer. They melt me, seriously.

And so, I have a haircut this morning. My fringe is so effing short right now, and I dare not go out with this kind of hair T_T

I took some photos last night, so, these can let you see my hair before today.

And after the haircut T_T

M for Mickey

2010-09-11T16:50:00.001+07:00

Sept 11,

It has been three days since we're off from school, but nothing is so exhilarating so far. I don't go anywhere but staying at home. Unlike my other classmates who seem to be so busy in wrapping up their homeworks, I choose to redeem myself up to the hilt from those bunches of homework.

The day before yesterday, I watched Messenger 2 with my three best buddies at Thamrin Plaza. The movie startled me for some times, it cringed me out. I screamed quite a lot, while my three peers turned out giving hoots of laughter for my chicken heart :/ :/

I don't know why, I am infatuated with Mickey Mouse these recent days. Don't ask me how come or since when because I have no idea either.

Isn't he way too cute? I have another dream : I want to build a house with mickey mouse as the basic trimming all over it, from the wallpaper, the curtains, the bed covers, the furnitures and blah blah. Right, I know, but I can have a dream, can't I?

We love you.

2010-08-21T20:06:00.003+07:00

You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what she'd want you to: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

REST IN PEACE, JENNY WIJAYA. You'll forever be in our heart.

Quotes by David Harkins.

SHOULD I?

2010-08-21T14:13:00.003+07:00

The war is done, but I am outrageously not satisfied with what I've scored. I can't make my biology faultless, 2 mistakes so far :(

And so, I've been in front of PC for quite a while until I found my old photos with my ex-classmates. How surprised I am, too see my own self's dissimilarity, I used to be, you know, not skinny, but at least, more meager than I am now. Well, I am actually, so whatever with these fats right now, but just... Should I maybe, go on, you know, what oh-so-called diet? Should I?

love-lies-bleeding, dedicated to you.

2010-08-14T13:36:00.001+07:00

Even though your world may appear to have collapsed around you, strangely enough, you also notice that most things still remain the same.But why do you suddenly feel so out of place? You feel totally out of sorts. For the moment, it may even feel like that you're never going to emerge from your sadness. You might feel that life is over and there's no meaning left for you.
It's a matter of time. It's a matter of time before normalcy returns. Though the love is lost, but your love will carry on and please remember that you do have the capacity for greater love.
It's never too late, you still have chances in your life. You'll get up once again. You'll laugh again. You'll live again. And you'll love again...

Clandestine

2010-07-23T18:26:00.001+07:00

Nothing significant,substantively, I just feel unoccupied. Indubitably, heaps of homework are to be done, but then, I just feel way too sluggish.. Erm, Do you ever feel this way? When you think you have a crush on two different people, but then, this feeling isn't always right.. Alright ! this might be too complicated for me to explain.. Forget it.

P.S : I got the first IC from a boy yesterday, right, the very first one, don't think too far, he's my friend.

Ricky's birthday blast.

2010-07-22T20:50:00.004+07:00

I know, it has been fervently late to post these images, which are taken on 14th July, but, better late than never, isn't it? So here are they :

And so, days are getting bound up, and exam is approaching (again), I have prepared nothing. Just wish me a very best luck friends.

Fire and Ice

2010-07-05T21:40:00.004+07:00

'Some say the world will end in fire,
some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate.
To say that for destruction ice
is also great
And would suffice'

You must have known those words if you have watched or read the third term of The Twilight Saga : Eclipse. Right, Isabella Swan says those in the beginning of the movie..If you really do observe attentively, those words are just so meaningful....

Have I told you about the insignificant things that happen during my holiday, which make me take no account of this blog? Apparently, I did and I was probably wrong. Something did happen, which is, well, not too crucial literally, but I might have to scribble down those things here, for me to recall someday..

First, I did quarrel with one of my tuition-mate, which started with jokes that turned into a short hostility. He mocked my eye bags, drew my face on the whiteboard, and parodied every movement that I made.. I tried to ignore him, but well, everyone got her own limitation.. When he mortified me again the following days, I cried, I could hardly bear my embitterment, which since then, I refuse to reckon him as a friend..
Of course, We're friend again now, I don't know why it's hard for me to be rancorous. I can't not be friend with a person for a long time..

Second, I baked. It was my first time to bake brownies. Of course, it won't be complicated enough for those proffesionals to bake steamed brownies, but to me, it's freakishly complex. I failed and tried again, until Daddy said it was scrumptous enough to be eaten.. I baked wholly five times..

Third, White blackberry onyx was presented for me. I was speechless, when daddy suddenly gave that thing to me. Why on earth should a girl got a gift when she had not done anything good? I was so grateful, I promised myself to work harder to make daddy and mommy proud of me..

Eclipse ♥

2010-07-02T21:42:00.002+07:00

Alright, sorry for tuning up this blog, I know I am supposed to dash off everyday, but well, I just have nothing significant to be written up.. It's now 2nd July and I got so many invocation, which some of them are : health, wealth, ingenuity and exhilaration. I hope July will treat me and my amongst good..

Anyway, have you watched Eclipse? Well, go grab the ticket soon, because you won't feel remorse ( of course, if you have watched twilight and new moon). FYI, both Edward and Jacob look aristocratic there. ♥

White

2010-06-28T14:22:00.004+07:00

Yesterday was my white day :) I am so effing happy lalala

World Cup 2010

2010-06-21T20:56:00.001+07:00

9 days has the World Cup 2010 been held, and guess what, I watched WC 2010 for the very first time. This very first time is not only for me, but for most of my family members, especially Mom. She has never watched those befores World Cup, but tonight. She screamed hysterically whenever a player almost scored a goal.

So, why on earth did I decide to watch this world cup? Well, I didn't watch this match in purpose, I was online-ing twitter that time, when most of my friends on twitter kept saying about Cristiano Ronaldo's coagulated face. I was curious, so I started to watch. My friends' prejudices are veracious. He got a dashing face. But I am not really into him because of his underestimated smile to North Korea that time. -__-

Erm, Portugal won 7 - 0 to North Korea. Isn't it the first time in the world cup history?

Oftentimes.

2010-06-20T11:29:00.002+07:00

Nothing is worth doing these days. I spent most of the time listening to the chansons, watching videos on youtube, googling about insignificant things, watching borrowed-dvds, chatting, snoring, and bla bla.
And again, I, overwhelmingly, don't know what to be written down here. Lemme just tell you 'the most' thing in here.

I . THE MOST PLAYED SONGS
These most played songs are songs,which to me, are gallant in both tones and lyrics. They are not always new, yet even half of them are advanced in years.

When you say nothing at all - Ronan Keating
War - Jay Sean
Waka waka ( Time for Africa ) - Shakira
Unfaithful - Rihanna
Try - Asher Book
That Girl - David Choi
Mad - NE-YO
Part of the list - NE-YO
Never say never - Justin Bieber ft. Jaden Smith
Angels cry - Mariah Carey ft NE-YO
No coming back - Stevie Hoang
Lemonade - Chris Rice
If I were a boy - Beyonce ft. R.Kelly
I knew I loved you - Savage Garden
Never knew I needed - Akon ( Princess and The frog theme song )

II. THE MOST VISITED WEBSITES

III. THE MOST PLAYED ONLINE GAMES

Baking life on facebook
Pet society on facebook
Make a baby on facebook

That's all, it's been ages since the last time I composed this long, hasn't it? Ha ha :)

Not Noteworthy

2010-06-16T13:32:00.003+07:00

I KNOW, it's holiday and I'm not supposed to chuck up this blog, but solemnly, I have no idea about what to be streaked down here. Let me just post some random pictures --.

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A well-turned movie

2010-06-10T18:06:00.003+07:00

We rocked Thamrin Plaza today, kind of exhilarate day. Since today is the first day premiere of the movie : THE KARATE KID, we decided to watch it. Everyone gets a good prejudice about this movie, and yes, it really exemplifies a dashing narration . So, I highly prompted you to watch it :) To fit up our loopy day, we took some pictures as well. Well, guess, this is the second best day since the holiday started :/

Not just a scheme

2010-06-06T16:33:00.003+07:00

I did mention about the plan to go to Brastagi with my kindred, and yes, we did go on a vacation. Spent a night in Grand Mutiara Hotel, masqueraded in Mickey Holiday and what oh-so-called Bukit Kubu.
We had a cozy time, and well, I am contented. Thanks to Daddy and Mommy for the scrumptious time :D

Lethargic

2010-06-04T09:55:00.002+07:00

Alright, arrepentido for not furbish up this blog. I know this blog is like insensate since I have left it for some days. I've been idling for 2 days, immensely unoccupied, and I'm damn stodgy. As a matter of fact, I don't know what to be streaked here, oh, but one.
I went to Sun Plaza with most of my classmates, watched Prince of Persia, and err. the movie is dashing and favorable, highly recommended.
My family will be going to Brastagi tomorrow, it's just a plan, but well, I outrageously hope that it's not only a plan.. I am corroded.

The worst news.

2010-05-13T22:37:00.002+07:00

So, here comes the obviousness, that grandma is no longer with us, is veritable.. Me, as a granddaughter, indubitably feel so sad.. I try hard not to bewail her leaving, but it is just way too difficult.. I know she won't want us to feel mournful, but well, I guess, we need time to square up ourselves about her absence afterward..
Grandma is exquisitely fervent to me.. She has stand some years with her complex ailments, laying on the bed, and have to rely on someone to feed and bath her.. She can sometime forget her children names, and yeah, she didn't recognize me till the very last time I visited her..
Can't stand any longer, I need time to cry :(

Quote 1

2010-05-12T08:16:00.003+07:00

Everyone needs to undergo his/her lives, even though it's suffocating. Just have faith and belief, you'll get through it.
(twitter via @stevaniewu)

Is choosing Doctor a good choice?

2010-04-30T18:29:00.002+07:00

Ain't sure by being studious will render me a promising future. I try to memories every Latin characters that appear in every chapter and redouble my
attention to biology teachers, yet under all, I am only a damsel who got my own limitation, like everyone does.
Well, memorizing Latin characters is not the point of my skepticism. It is about the hesitation that breeze in my mind lately.

People often says that girls are destined to serve her family in the end, so it is just a waste to send girls to college or university. "Doctor" is the only word that I'll utter if you enquire me about my future, but then.. I'm just dead sure, some of you will give me ravers while the rest will give me supporting discourse.

Once my friend said to me: "What's the point of you studying medical science ? Isn't it better for a girl to just take accounting, management or business thingy ? You can help your future husband or manage your parents' company, so why being doctor is a choice? You are, in the end, will get a businessman-husband, well, most of boys nowadays prefer business instead of science.. Being doctor will indirectly make you not think about marriage thingy. Alright, let's say you are a notorious doctor,but you are a spinster, too. "
Ah.. I really don't care if I really will end up being a spinster because I can spend my whole life with daddy and mommy (of course it's better not), about husband, well, isn't a husband supposed to support whatever his wife want to do? So, I will find the Mr.right who back up my profession.
After all, maybe there is nothing that might change my destiny, but myself.

Some pictures :

At the worst

2010-04-21T15:49:00.003+07:00

I understand one thing : That she should not be forced to do something, because if you keep forcing her, she won't even lift a hand for you. What you need is to be friendly with her. Yes, that is what I knew after having a three-hour-out with her
After we're home, I asked her to study mandarin last night, I thought she would have ignored and just do what she was doing, and beyond my belief.. She agreed to./And in a whirl, I asked her to come to my room, that I'll accompany her.
Well, we're a good team again. teehee :))

Good news for me, that I am now free from that hanging-adhering-shining thingy on my teeth. Take a look to some pictures of mine if you didn't realize :D

Her.

2010-04-19T18:33:00.006+07:00

You did it, successfully upset me and caused me give you a jolt. I'm sorry for it, but just not that sorry. I mean, I give you that beat for a punishment. You deserve it, seriously.
I tried not to recall about you back stabbed me or you abhor me But today, as you gave a great ignorance, and even screamed toward me. It's just so fair for me to act that way..

Could you please just listen to me for once? Could you try not to scream against and ignore my words? Let's not do it for me, but, dad and mom at least. They love you, even more than they do to me, but the way you study, you act, you conduct, is really not assorted with what they do for you. I know I'm not a perfect daughter either and that's why I want you to be better than me. It's okay for me if they love you more, You're still my sister, at the worst. But I beseechingly beg you, please.. Make them proud of you, make them happy to have you..

Clash of the Titans

2010-04-17T21:56:00.003+07:00

This movie got almost the same story to be narrated as that in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. It has Zeus, Hades and Medusa too. But then, this one is much better in establishing the characters.
The Zeus, Hades and Medusa look more real, for example : the Medusa in Percy Jackson got a slim body like human's, but in the titans, the Medusa got a snake-like body. yea, maybe that's the point.heehehe. And anyway, I highly recommend you to watch :)
watch the trailer here : http://clash-of-the-titans.warnerbros.com/

Execrable

2010-04-15T15:25:00.004+07:00

I think I have written to much here. I'd like to apologize to some of you, whom maybe feel disgusted by my fulsome stories. I need not you to understand or believe my sob stories or even read my pages. If you feel I've wrote redundantly from the facts, just kindly leave and don't speak a word, because you'd never understand me.
There are heaps of problems in this life which are inscrutable, where we're requisited to solve and find the solutions. but don't you think sometimes they just bobbed up and get you rattled? And sometimes, they're just far too much...

some shoots for fun:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIBLINGS !

2010-04-11T19:39:00.005+07:00

I don't give anything to them, just make this damn simple picture, at least, it's from the deepest heart. roflmao.

Eitch El.

2010-04-09T16:37:00.003+07:00

Let's call this heartless-fiendish-big head-man: EITCH EL.
To me, EITCH EL do something not because it's his duty, but more for a prestige. He really want to show to us that he's damn tremendous in making test questions, but fyi, dear mr.EITCH EL. some of us hate you for that. ( yea, I said 'some' because I'm not sure everyone does). It's been twice for you to treat us like we are such experts, I know we are different from others, but it doesn't mean we deserve treble or even more difficulties. You can just do it twice for I think we still could effort.
P.S : I ain't sure you still got a heart, because although if you think you do, you are perhaps, wrong.

The bleak life

2010-04-08T10:57:00.001+07:00

Have you ever felt of having no one to tell your sob stories?
Have you ever been given a sarcasm?
Have you ever felt of being replied by a harsh answer when you expect a nice one?
Have you ever been betrayed by people you loved?
Have you ever been left by people you loved?
Am I right to feel hurt, to cry, to sob those things?

I grow up as an introvert, neither good at socialize nor expert at finding things to be chatted like my other peers. Frankly do I admit, I envy those friends who got so many fragments to be shared with their coteries. I googling a lot about how to make friends, to create exciting topics, but what I found is just really not me /: I'd ever said that I am going to be me, whatever it is. But being this me give me not many friends. I got friends, of course, but I'm dead sure that they're all not interested in listening to my sob stories.. Nobody's perfect, no one appears sophisticated all the time, no one is nice all the time, and so do me.